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Author Topic: Gaping Flaws  (Read 5392 times)

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Offline Kensei-Teichou

Gaping Flaws
« on: October 08, 2009, 07:44:22 PM »
  • Read Later
  • This is something I'm working on while I try to keep getting ideas for TTW. This book came to me after reading a couple of mangas. So...Enjoy.

    Inspiration:
    Mangas: Bleach, The One, Ouran High School Host Club, Godchild, Kateikyou Hitman Reborn.
    Animes: Bleach, Ouran High School Host Club, Phantom: Requiem For The Phantom, Kateikyou Hitman Reborn.




    Gabriel isn't known by many. He is a solitary individual that keeps himself to himself. He has one precious person in his life, but she gets taken away from him every time.
     This book follows the lives of a boy and a girl as they meet friends and enemies along their way to happiness. They are destined to be together but obstacles block the route, one of which is goes by the name of Xavier Lasron.

    What will Gabriel do to end this madness?




    Prologue
    Chapter One
    Chapter Two
    Chapter Three
    Chapter Four
    Chapter Five
    Chapter Six
    Chapter Seven
    Chapter Eight

    « Last Edit: September 15, 2010, 10:59:56 PM by Kensei-Teichou »

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

     

    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #31 on: November 24, 2009, 07:32:39 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Thanks Pho.  :bioggrin:
    Yeah. I was thinking about brothers, but that's too common/cliche.

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #32 on: December 08, 2009, 06:40:44 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Chapter Four shall be up soon. Almost finished it...

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Offline Saint

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #33 on: December 08, 2009, 09:47:09 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Chapter 4, posted on behalf of Kensei.  Nothing below the horizontal ruling in this post is written by Saint.  All credit for this post goes to Kensei-Teichou.



    4.

       Gabriel walked down the stairs that led to the main hall where everyone ate. He got a few strange glances from students in black and white uniforms because of his casual attire, but some others recognised him. He nodded to them as they greeted him, and he scanned the tables for the ones dressed on red.
       The hall was a sea of black, white and occasional red. His ears were filled with the chatter and laughter of the students and he continued to look. The main hall had white walls and an extremely high ceiling which was made of glass. The wall that was to his left was mostly made of huge glass windows that showed the courtyard that was between the two buildings. The right wall was covered from top to bottom in small lockers, fifteen in a row and five in a column. The tables that were set up for lunch took up most of the space in the hall.
       Gabriel soon spotted a group of red clothed people. They were sitting at the furthest away table, beside a huge windows. Even with the distance between them, Gabriel could see Xavier's hair. His eyes narrowed and he began walking towards them.

       Gabriel arrived behind Xavier as he heard him say “Yeah, I'm an orphan, so I haven't seen any of my family – if there's any left – in years.”
       “Oh really?” Gabriel growled, putting a hand on the table beside Xavier's. “I think that's about to change.”
       Seven pairs on eyes rested on him; Xavier, Kaitlyn, Eva, April, Mike, Nathan and Daryl. He could see that Xavier was trying to act calm, but failed. His surprise showed through his mask.
       “Gabriel!? What are you doing here?!” exclaimed Kaitlyn, getting to her feet.
       “About to have a chat with someone.” he said, eyes never leaving Xavier. He backed up slightly and removed his hand from the table, remembering the earlier incident with the science worktop. “Mind if I join you?”
       “Not at all.” Xavier's voice was like silk, his way of covering up his emotions. “Sit down.” He moved up and left enough room for Gabriel and Kaitlyn, who moved places to sit beside Gabriel.
       “So, why exactly are you here?” she asked him. Gabriel chanced a look at her and his heart nearly stopped. She was very, very close to him, and her eyes were that beautiful mixture of green and red. Her lips were a soft colour, and her skin looked baby soft. He looked away quickly, telling himself that he felt nothing more than friendly feelings for her.
       “I need to chat with Xavier.” he answered her, looking from his hands to his cousin. His silver eyes looked straight back at him.
       “Talk.” he ordered. That one word caused the beast inside Gabriel to rise to the surface again. Fortunately he kept it at bay, and resorted to glaring at Xavier.

       He had used to think he liked his cousin, and had even tried to visit him when he heard that one of his relatives was in an orphanage. He had pleaded and begged his own parents to bring Xavier back in the family. They had refused from the start, claiming that he was no blood relation and that it was wrong if he was in the family. Gabriel had become frustrated with them and went to the orphanage once when he was about seven to see if he could talk to Xavier himself.
       When he had visited, he told the receptionist the name of the child he wanted to see and she had went to fetch Xavier. Then, she had led both boys to a small room with a sofa, table and a couple of armchairs. The walls were painted a pastel green, but the it was peeling in several places; that particular orphanage wasn't the best one in the town.
       They had sat in silence for five minutes or more, before Gabriel had started talking to him. He had mentioned that he was family but as soon as that word had left his mouth, Xavier had started shouting and screaming, claiming that he had no family, that he was alone in the world. He had even tried to throw the table at Gabriel.
       Maybe now, at the ages of seventeen and eighteen, Gabriel could try again.

       “Not here.” Gabriel said to Xavier, glancing around the table. All eyes were still on him. He sighed and got up. “Follow me.”
       Xavier didn't move, but Gabriel knew that his brain was working overtime trying to figure how what the hell was going on. “Why?” he asked.
       “Because sometimes talking about personal matters in front of other people, most of whom I don't know, irritates me.” Gabriel snapped. “Move it. Now.”
       Xavier got up from his seat, rolling his eyes. “Whatever.”
       Kaitlyn watched them, and Gabriel ruffled her hair. “We'll be back soon.” he said, as he headed over to a vacant spot near the lockers. He could hear the scuffing of Xavier's feet on the ground, confirming that he was following him.

       He turned to face his cousin and began to tell him the truth.
       “Xavier, what I'm going to tell you is the truth; you need to know it.” he started, “Your full name is Xavier Frank Damien Auguste-Lasron, yet you just shorten it to Xavier Lasron. My own is Gabriel Stephan Anton Northman-Lasron. Do you notice any similarities?”
       Xavier's eyes widened slightly but he stayed silent. Gabriel continued:
       “Exactly. Now, you know that when you were in the orphanage I came to see you. When I told you we were related, you went crazy on me and started throwing tables at me. Yeah...that wasn't very nice.”
       “How else was I suppose to react to someone coming into my crap life and saying 'Oh yeah, you're my cousin but my family hate you for some reason I don't know about'?” Xavier growled, his stone eyes on the floor at his feet. “You try living like I did, then have a family member basically say that they don't want you.”
       “I really am your cousin though.” Gabriel sighed. “Just understand that. Plus...” he trailed off, unsure of whether to tell Xavier what he knew about him.
       “...Plus what?” Xavier enquired, his curiosity getting the better of him.
       Gabriel thought hard over two things: one, should he tell Xavier that he knew that he worked as an assassin for The Company? And two, should he tell his cousin something so personal about him that only two people in the world knew?
       “It doesn't matter.” he shook his head, his hair moving slightly.
       “Fine.” Xavier shrugged. “So, what was this little talk about?”
       “To actually let you know that there is someone connected to you by blood.” Gabriel said, before he started to walk away.
       Even before he got more than two steps away, Xavier had grabbed his arm and threw him against the lockers. They banged loudly as Gabriel's body hit them.
       “What the fuck?!” Gabriel swore, something he rarely done.
       “What the hell are you playing at?” Xavier snarled, placing his right hand on the locker to Gabriel's left beside his head. “You wouldn't just tell me this. What the fuck are you trying to do?”
       “Nothing.” Gabriel growled back. That was a bad move. Xavier curled his hand into a fist and violently punched the locker beside Gabriel's head. It buckled in the middle from the punch, and Gabriel flinched as he heard flesh hitting metal incredibly hard.
       “Wrong answer.” His cousin looked mad. His grey eyes were flaring dangerously, and his skin had turned to an almost alabaster white. His hair looked a stormy grey. Gabriel recognised that Xavier had Sudden Anger.
       People with sudden anger are like thunderstorms on a summer day - they zoom in from nowhere, blast everything in sight, and then vanish. Sometimes it's only lightning and thunder, a big show that soon blows away. But often people get hurt, homes are broken up and things are damaged that will take a long time to repair. Sudden Anger people gain a surge of power. They release all their feelings, so they feel good or relieved. Loss of control is a major problem with this type of anger. They can be a danger to themselves as well as others.   
       Gabriel looked at his cousin, fear starting to ebb its way into his body. He had only seen one other person with the same anger as Xavier. And that had been a while ago. But the fear of being trapped in a room when someone with Sudden Anger had snapped, had always stayed with him.
       “Calm down, Xavier.” he said, trying to calm his cousin down before he became a thunderstorm. Right now, he was just the lightning.
       “Why the hell should I calm down?” Xavier asked through gritted teeth. “You can't boss me around. You barely know me.”
       “I don't care if I barely know you. The fact is, if you snap, you're going to hurt me and I don't want that.” Gabriel argued back. The beast was rising, but he pushed it back deep inside him, telling himself that it wouldn't help the situation at hand.
       Xavier's eyes narrowed at his newly found family member. Gabriel stared right back at him, not flinching. “To be honest with you,” he said, “I don't give two shits if I hurt you or not.”
       “Well, I do.” Gabriel barked, clenching his fists. He had only been talking to Xavier for roughly five minutes and he was already sick of him. “Now, back off.”
       Xavier looked at him for a little while longer before backing away from him, his eyes still flaring. Gabriel glanced at the table where Kaitlyn and the others were sitting to see that they were all back to eating their lunches. He then turned his attention to the locker that Xavier had punched. It was indented and he knew that he'd have to tell the janitor or someone about it.
       “I'm going back over.” he heard Xavier say, “And don't even bother following me.” And with that, he walked back to his table, his face a mask of coolness. Gabriel watched him walk back over to the others. Kaitlyn turned around to look at him and he smiled slightly at her, before walking to the doors that would lead him outside.



       As soon as he got back to his apartment Xavier slammed the door shut and leaned against it, letting out a sigh. He had met Gabriel only a handful of times, but he already hated him. He thought Gabriel was a arrogant, completely self-centred, naïve prick.
       He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair before undoing the bandage around his forehead. He lightly ran his fingers over the mark and made his way across the flat to where his bag containing his assassin equipment lay on the floor. He had a job soon and he needed to get ready.
       He grabbed his black clothes he would wear - a vest, combats and his infamous fingerless gloves – and headed for the shower. He needed to cool down before he punched something.

       Once he was out of the shower, dried and dressed, he went back into the living room in time to see Hayden enter as he put his crystal necklace back around his neck.
       “Hey.” she greeted him, before dumping a few bags of groceries in the small kitchen. Dressed in normal clothes, she looked different. Xavier usually seen her in her work clothes. She was wearing stone washed jeans with a light blue scoop neck top, showing off her own crystal. The silvery blue caught the light and shone, revealing the small chip that was missing.
       “Yo.” he replied, before grabbing his bag. He drew out his mask and then dropped the bag onto the couch.
       “Got another job?” she asked, sitting down on the couch.
       “Sadly, yeah. I can't be bothered doing it though.” he sighed.
       “Why not? You're usually raring to go.” Hayden questioned. Xavier rolled his eyes and pulled his cellphone out, dialling the number of June Frai, his boss.
       She soon answered, “Good evening, Sexta.”
       “I have a request.” Xavier said simply. He wasn't in the mood to beat about the bush. “I know that I'm the best there is, but could you assign another person to do the job?”
       “But why?” June purred.
       Xavier scowled. She always tried to persuade him not to pull out of a job at the last minute. “Something has come up,” he said, “so I can't do it.” And with that, he cancelled the call.
       As soon as he flipped his phone down to cancel it, all of the anger he had bottled up unleashed. He threw his phone across the room, with so much strength that the phone split clearly in half. He felt, rather than saw or heard, Hayden flinch behind him. His hands curled into white knuckled fists, and he clenched his teeth together. He felt like he was on fire.
       He dropped his mask and grabbed his coat instead. He muttered “I'm going for a walk,” before heading out of the door before he caused damage to his apartment or, God forbid, Hayden.

       Xavier walked down the street, kicking stray cans and bottles that were in his road. He needed to calm down, no matter what. He knew that June would be mad at him for handing a job over to someone else, but at that point in time it was the least of his worries.
       People passed him, going home from work. The assassin brushed his hair down over his forehead; he had forgotten to wrap the bandage back around his head. He sighed angrily and made his way to the well known park in Foxburn, West End Park. He had hung out a lot there when he was little.
       Entering through the rusty, Victorian style gates, Xavier saw that there were only some teenagers left. They were the typical juvenile delinquents; shell suits, swigging from cans of lager, smoking cheap cigarettes. They made him sick to the bottom of his stomach.
       “Oi mate, got any fags?” one of them called to Xavier, the others sniggering behind their mate.
       Xavier turned around and faced them, smiling menacingly. “Sorry pal. But I've just met some.”
       The one who had spoken narrowed his eyes. “Was that meant tae be funny?” he threatened.
       “Well, I found it fucking hilarious.” Xavier smirked. This was what he wanted. He wanted a fight to let out all of his anger.
       “Are you lookin' for a fuckin' fight?” They had started walking towards him, with their stereotypical swagger.
       “Not with a bunch of fairies, no. That would be like doing The Nutcracker.” He was getting them riled up, he could tell. Xavier smiled inside. He was enjoying this.
       “That's fuckin' it mate! Ricky, show this mo-fo who he's dealin' wae!” The teen who was doing all the talking must have obviously been the 'leader', because after he said that another teenager near him put his hand in his pocket then pulled it out again. This time, he was holding a pocket knife. The crowd of delinquents sniggered with glee.
       Xavier wasn't fazed by the small piece of shining metal that was being pointed at him. He was an assassin for God sake; he had had AK47's pointed at him. However, he pretended to be scared, even holding up his hands as Ricky took a step closer.
       “I'm sorry.” Xavier said. “I didn't mean any harm.”
       Ricky took another step closer.
       Xavier judged that there was just more than a metre between them and crouched slightly, pretending that the knife seriously scared him, that it might harm him if he even dared look at it.
       “Tough shit, mate.” Ricky sniggered, the calls of encouragement behind him getting louder.
       He took another two steps.
       This bastard was cocky.
       
       Xavier struck like a snake. He grabbed Ricky's hand that held the knife, and broke every finger with just a small squeeze. He let out such a girly scream that Xavier thought that a young girl was watching. He leapt over the now crumpled form that was Ricky, standing on his foot for good measure. He heard loud cracks, proceeded by another scream. Quickly, he grabbed the knife that was now lying abandoned on the ground, folded it and then stuck it in his pocket.
       “You fuckin' shit!” The leader cried from behind him, running towards Xavier. He turned around slowly, his eyes darkening around the edges, the crystal that hung around his neck glowing slightly. He wanted them to remember what he looked like. He wanted to strike terror into their hearts.
       The delinquent stopped in his tracks just before Xavier whipped his leg up, making his foot connect with a jaw. The boy's head snapped backwards and he fell, after being knocked  unconscious.
       A slight breeze ruffled through the park as everything stopped for one moment. His hair lifted from his forehead, revealing the 'X' that marked his pale skin. The crystal glowed even more, feeding Xavier with the powers of super strength, lighting speed and invisibility to name a few. He decided to leave out the latter.
       The rest of the teenagers were staring at him with what looked like horror, and Xavier enjoyed that. He loved seeing people fear him. It gave him power. He moved towards them so fast, they didn't see him. All he was in their eyes was a blur that came straight at them. Fists met jaws. Feet met the back of knees. A strangled groan came from one of them as Xavier grabbed him around the neck. He grinned demoniacally, letting his anger take over his actions.
       Blood escaped from the boy's mouth. “You're...a demon.” he choked.
       “Sadly not,” Xavier answered, “but I'm the closest thing there is to one.” And with one final kick, knocked the hoodlum out.

       He looked at the unconscious boys lying around him. He hadn't come full out on them, just enough for them to remember what would happen if they ever met him when he was pissed off. Smiling slightly to himself, he gave the Ricky guy a quick kick in the gut for good measure and was awarded with a groan of agony.
       He didn't have a single scratch on him and he praised himself for his own acting skills. Xavier walked away casually, hands in pockets. There was no point staying there, seeing as someone walking along would have seen him standing in the middle of ten unconscious kids. Not very good.
       People still passed him, even though now it was about seven at night. He turned down an alley, smoothing his hair down over his forehead.
       “Xavier.”
       He froze. That voice...
       He looked up slowly, the auras invading. A red aura was surrounding someone standing in the shadows.
       He grinned again. “Come out, come out, Gabriel.”
       His cousin walked forward.
       “How nice of you to join me.” Xavier smirked.
       Gabriel's golden eyes were narrow. “We need to talk. Properly.”
       “Sorry, cus, but I'm a little pre-occupied.” Xavier answered, turning to walk away. He took four steps before something hit the back of his neck, knocking him out.

    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #34 on: December 09, 2009, 07:53:45 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Thanks Saint :) I owe you one.

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Chapter 5
    « Reply #35 on: December 24, 2009, 09:21:49 PM »
  • Read Later
  •    One thing that Gabriel hated to do was hurt someone when he held no grudge against them. But Xavier was an exception. The long lost cousin of his was starting to get on his nerves.

       He picked up the unconscious body and slung it casually over his shoulder, as if Xavier were a sack. Remarkably, he was extremely light and Gabriel had no trouble carrying him. Now the tricky part arose; he had to get back to his house without anyone seeing him.

       He silently uttered the words that made him invisible earlier on, and he had to use more power from the crystal to cover both himself and Xavier with the magic. Once he was sure that the magic had hidden them, Gabriel starting walking away from the dirty alley into the lights of Foxburn.

       People of all ages passed him, their breath turning to mist before their eyes. Gabriel, however, did not feel the cold, like Xavier. He was only dressed in dark grey jeans that hugged his legs slightly, with a chain connecting them to his wallet. His navy a-shirt was under an unbuttoned chequered shirt. The rolled up sleeves showed muscular arms, one of which was holding Xavier over his shoulder. He made his way through the crowd, being careful not to bump into anyone.  He dodged and skirted around them, finally making his way to a small side street. He walked down it casually, seeing as barely anyone went down there. He even started to whistle.

       Soon, he was standing on his doorstep, fumbling in his jeans pocket for the fob that would let him into the apartment building.

       “Shit.” he swore to himself, noticing that he had forgotten his keys. He cancelled the spell around him and Xavier, before sitting his cousin beside the door. He pressed the buzzer and waited for a response.

       “Hello?” came the reply. It was a girl's voice, his room-mate.

       “Yeah, Megan, it's me.” He said, laughing slightly. “I went out in a hurry and forgot my keys. Let me in.”

       “Jeez Gabriel,” she sighed, “You're hopeless.” She buzzed the door open and Gabriel picked Xavier back up as she hung up.

       Usually, he would have taken the stairs, but he took the elevator instead; carrying what looked like a dead body up the stairs was not a good look. He rested Xavier on the ground before he pressed the button to go to the sixth floor. As the doors slid shut, he heard a moan. Rolling his eyes, he looked at his cousin who was starting to awaken.

       “I see you're up then.” Gabriel said, crossing his arms.

       Xavier looked around the silver elevator, eyes wide with disorientation and confusion. “...The fuck?” was all he said, not even managing with the 'what'.  If a girl was in the elevator with them, they would probably be cooing all over Xavier, that was the impression he gave.

       Once again, Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I told you that we need to talk.”

       “Kidnapping me was a little bit extreme.” Xavier groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. “You could have talked with me another time. I wasn't in the greatest of moods, and now it isn't any better.”

       “To be honest with you, I don't really care.” Gabriel snapped as the elevator came to a stop as it reached the sixth floor. He grabbed Xavier's upper arm and pulled him to his feet. Xavier staggered slightly before pulling himself away from Gabriel.

       “I can get up myself.” Xavier growled as the doors slid open.

       “Follow me.” Gabriel said, ignoring the snappy comment. He walked out onto the landing, Xavier coming behind him.

       It was a small landing, with only four doors that led into separate apartments and the stairs were at the other end. Gabriel walked over to the door marked '22', and knocked. A few seconds later, the door was opened by a girl with long black hair and emerald green eyes. She wore a simple jeans and tee combo, complete with fluffy slippers on her feet. Gabriel smiled at her.

       “Hey Megan. Thanks for letting me back in.”

       “It's fine. Just remember your keys next time.” She replied, smiling back at him. She was a shy girl, never going out much despite the fact that she was nineteen, nearly twenty. During her time at all of the three schools she had attended, Megan had been bullied a lot for being weak, creative and too intelligent. It had started when she had been six, with the children in the years above her teasing her about her glasses. Then when she had gotten braces six years ago, the bullying had gone up a level. That was when she had met Gabriel. One day when she had been going home from school when she was sixteen, a bunch of girls had ganged up on her and cornered her in an alleyway. Megan, who had never fought physically before, and become extremely frightened and as soon as the first punches had been swung, she screamed. Gabriel had been walking near the alley where she was being beaten up and had heard Megan. Five minutes later, the bullies had gone and Gabriel was helping Megan to her feet. They had become best friends after that. When Gabriel needed somewhere to stay when his father had flung him out, he went to Megan. She had let him in as soon as she saw the tears in his eyes. They had been room-mates for three years now, Gabriel had been with Megan when she had gotten laser eye surgery to get rid of her glasses and was with her when her braces were removed, and only Megan knew Gabriel's secrets.

       “Megan, meet Xavier. He's my cousin.” Gabriel gestured towards his silver haired relative and Megan smiled timidly at him. Xavier nodded in acknowledgement and looked at Gabriel with a scowl.

       “Can we talk now, so I can go home?” he asked as they walked into the apartment.

       Gabriel rolled his eyes again. “In a minute.” he said as they sat down in the living room-diner. The walls were a natural beige colour, on two of which were paintings done by Megan herself. One was of an orange and yellow sun, glowing brightly like a never ending flame, setting behind dark green hills that cast shadows as the light vanished behind them. It was a truly beautiful scene. Megan had painted it when she had visited Scotland. The other one consisted of water lilies. The white flowers on the green went with the blue water beautifully.

       The sofa was a black leather one, with a few turquoise pillows on it. Gabriel had helped Megan buy it just after he had moved in. Near the door that led into the kitchen was a small pine table with two chairs, where Megan and Gabriel ate most nights. The television was a flat screen that was on the wall in front of the sofa.

       “Can I get you anything to drink?” Megan offered, “We have soda, water, tea, coffee.”

       “Water, please.” Xavier answered. Gabriel nodded and Megan went into the kitchen. As she disappeared through the doorway, Gabriel stood up and stuck his hands into his pockets. His right hand closed around something and he looked quickly at Xavier, who seemed deep in thought, before heading into the kitchen.

       He closed the door behind him and turned to Megan. “Give me his water for a minute.”

       Megan faced him, worry and concern on her beautiful face. “Don't tell me you're going to use that.” she said, putting her hands on her hips.

       “It'll help, trust me.” Gabriel smiled, pulling out the small box which his hand had closed around. It was about the size of a cuff link box, and it contained a loose white powder. It was this powder which had helped Gabriel with many difficult situations. To the untrained eye, it probably looked like cocaine, but when mixed with water it became a powerful truth serum.

       “I can't believe you.” Megan sighed, walking over to him and taking the small box reluctantly from him. She opened the lid and looked at Gabriel doubtfully.

       He grinned and took a small pinch of the powder which he added to the water before Megan could stop him. It fizzed slightly but the water went back to being colourless. Gabriel silently thanked his mentor for giving it to him.

       “Here we go.” Megan handed Xavier the water as Gabriel sat down with a soda. Megan went and sat at the pine table, flicking through her university folio.

       “So, you wanted to talk.” Xavier stated, not looking at Gabriel.

       “I did.” he replied, sitting back and taking a long gulp of the soda. The carbonated water danced down his throat and the sweet orange flavour ran over his tongue. He looked at Xavier once he has finished, to see that Xavier was drinking his water. Gabriel mentally crossed his fingers. He hoped it would work.

       “What did you want to talk about? The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can get home.” Xavier said, wiping his mouth casually.

       “Well, don't you want to know where you came from?” Gabriel asked.

       “No...Well, yes.” As he said this, Xavier looked confused. As Gabriel had hoped, the truth serum was kicking in.

       “Want me to tell you?”

       Xavier nodded in reply, drinking more of his water.

       “Well, the Lasrons are originally from Venice, Italy. They go back to the 1600s. Lasron was a family name that everyone in Italy knew. It wasn't the Mafia that they were scared of; it was the Lasrons. Antonio was the head of the family in 1613 and he was married to Sophia, whom he has four kids with; Giovanni, Leona, Alessia, and Aldo. But Antonio also had a brother, Marco. Like all brothers, they were competitive and one always wanted to beat the other.

       “One day, when Marco was visiting from Rome, he and Antonio had a fight. Marco had accidentally blurted out that he had slept with Sophia, on numerous times, and Antonio had snapped. They took their brawl out into the streets, where they exchanged blows. Sophia had husband and lover, brother and brother, fight to what seemed like the death. When they had broken apart, Marco had looked around and grabbed a gun from the nearest man. He shot his own brother twice in the chest.”

       Xavier's eyes were wide with what looked like wonder and disgust. Gabriel continued:

       “Then, they discovered that Sophia was two months pregnant. But whose baby was it? Antonio's or Marco's? They didn't know. The only way they would know was to wait and see who the child most resembled. Seven months later, she gave birth to twins; Damien and Stefan.”

       At this, a small audible gasp escaped from Xavier.

       Gabriel smiled slightly. “You've put two and two together then.”

       “Damien is part of my name...and Stefan is part of yours...” Xavier muttered.

       “Bingo.” Gabriel snapped his fingers. “Our ancestors were brothers.”

       “My god... We are related.” Xavier ran a hand down his face.

       “I have some questions for you.” Gabriel said, playing with the necklace around his neck. The light hit the crystal and Xavier's eyes glued onto it.

       “Where did you get that?” he asked, his voice hoarse. His hand shot out and closed around it, his eyes darkening at the edges. Gabriel watched him intently, The day his eyes darkened, the way the silver intensified, the way he paled.

       “It was a gift.” Gabriel said, trying to pull away slightly but Xavier tightened his grip on the throng. His shirt moved slightly, and his own crystal came into view. This time, Gabriel's eyes widened.

       “Where did you get that?” Gabriel repeated, taking the chance to pull away from Xavier.

       “From June Frai.” he said, the truth serum continuing to work.

       “Who?” Gabriel asked. This was getting interesting.

       “She's the head of The Company.” Xavier shrugged, before realising what he had just said. His hand covered his mouth and his eyes filled with horror. “What did you do to me?!” his voice was muffled but still clear.

       “Nothing.” Gabriel lied. “What is The Company?”

       Before he could reply, Xavier had jumped up from the sofa and bolted for the door, but Gabriel beat him to it. He slammed a fist into the wall beside Xavier's head, reversing the roles of earlier that day.

       “Tell me.” he growled, his temper about to explode. Xavier just shook his head, which caused Gabriel's eyes to narrow. His knuckles turned white and he could hear Megan telling him to calm down. He knew that Megan had never seen him get angry in over three years, when he stood up for her in that alley. Now, his cousin had pushed all the wrong buttons.

       “Listen, you. You think you can just saunter into my life and take a precious person from me. Well, you're wrong. You'll never take her from me. And I promise you, I promise you that I will uncover your secrets, Xavier Lasron.”

       With that, he pulled the door open and shoved Xavier out, slamming it shut after him.



       “I'm home!” Kaitlyn called, dropping her house keys on the table in her small hallway. She carried the bags of shopping, along with her school bag, into the kitchen where her older brother Michael was at the cooker making a late dinner. He had brown hair like hers, but it was a lighter shade and was chin length. His fringe fell into his green eyes occasionally, but he had taken one of Kaitlyn's clips and pinned it out of the road to stop hair getting into the food.

       “Hey you.” he smiled at her, hugging her casually with his free arm. She hugged him back and put the bags on the table. “What did you buy?”

       “I got you a new hoodie.” she smiled, pulling it out of a bag. It was a dark blue, with a bright yellow lightning bolt in the middle of it.

       He laughed his airy laugh, which always made Kaitlyn smile. “I love it. Thanks Kait. I hope you like chicken curry by the way, that's what you're having.”

       “You only made that 'cause it's your favourite!” she laughed, shrugging off her blazer.

       “True. Hey, do you want long grain or egg fried rice?” he asked.

       “Long grain.” Kaitlyn said, pulling food out from one bag. She placed them in their appropriate places in cupboards and in drawers as Michael put boil-in-the-bag rice into a pot on the stove.

       “It should be ready soon. Go upstairs and get changed. You've been in your school uniform for ages. I'll wash it tonight.” Michael said, setting the table. Kaitlyn nodded and grabbed her school bag from the floor. She jogged up the stairs and into her room.

       Her walls were a pastel blue, with a white dado rail near the top around her room. The sheets on her bed were also white, and they had a small blue beaded pattern from the right corner to the centre. She went over to her wardrobe after dumping her bag at her desk and pulled out jeans and a tee.

       After she changed, Kaitlyn headed back downstairs in time to see Michael dishing up the food.

       “Smells good.” she smiled, sitting down at the table as Michael placed the pans in the sink.

       “I know. I just hope it tastes as good as it looks. Anyway,” he said, sitting down, “What happened at school? Anything interesting happen?”

       Kaitlyn shook her head. “Nothing really...But Gabriel showed up and talked to Xavier – and before you ask, no I don't know what about.”

       Michael seemed to ponder this, before shrugging and beginning to eat.



       He lay awake in his bed, urging sleep to come and for once, to stay. Gabriel looked at his clock. 12:34am. He had lain awake for more than half an hour, wishing for sleep to take over. He was, however, unlucky.

       But as soon as he thought that, sleep began to cover him like a warm, welcoming blanket.

       He walks down the street, listening to the busy people of Foxburn get on their way. The birds fly overhead, the chatter of voices fill his ears. Yet, he is content. He's on his way to see Kaitlyn.

       Gabriel crosses a road, then another. Finally, he reaches the water fountain that is in the middle of Foxburn. Water flows out of the snouts of three sculptured dolphins, and lands into bowls held by six stone mermaids. It is a truly magnificent water feature. He stands in front of it, hiding his hands in his pockets. People are all around him; couples going on dates, families enjoying the sun, teenagers.

       He hears her calling his name. He turns around, and sees her across the road, waiting to cross. She waves wildly at him and starts to walk across before the green man shows. He goes pale as he realises that there is a red dot in the middle of her forehead.

       He rushes towards her, pushing past people, shouting at her to duck. She doesn't hear him. He yells her name as her head snaps back, her body crumpling beneath her.

       Reaching her, Gabriel's legs fail him and he lands beside her, tears running down his face. She quickly goes pale, and soon she would grow cold to the touch. Her now dyed auburn hair is fanned out around her like a fiery halo. Her green and red eyes stare up at the sky, lifeless. He slowly closes them with shaking fingertips. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a figure with grey hair walking away, looking over his shoulder smirking.

       Once again, he had lost her to him.


       He woke up, gasping and shaking. Gabriel glanced at his beside table and the clock read 2:34am. Two hours. It had only been two hours but he had already had a dream that was too horrible for words. The fact that Kaitlyn would be taken away from him again started to plague his mind.

       He sighed, before getting up and going for a shower.

       When he was out the shower and dressed in boxers and pyjama bottoms, he stood by his mobile phone and contemplated texting Kaitlyn. He didn't know what to say though. He dismissed the idea and sat on his bed, running a hand through his hair.

       He didn't know what to do.
    « Last Edit: August 29, 2010, 05:41:46 PM by Kensei-Teichou »

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    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Online Chinaren

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #36 on: December 25, 2009, 06:51:33 AM »
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  • Nicely written KT, this one line made be chuckle:

    Quote
    carrying what looked like a dead body up the stairs was not a good look.

    :santa1:
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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #37 on: December 25, 2009, 07:27:02 PM »
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  • I love that line too  rofl

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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #38 on: January 14, 2010, 05:34:02 PM »
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  • Chapter 6 is taking far longer than I thought. Sorry guys. I've got a lot going on right now. I have an English essay on 'Dead Until Dark' due in next week, which i haven't started.
    Plus, things with friends and family have stopped my train of thought...

    A Clash Of Beasts.


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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Chapter 6
    « Reply #39 on: January 21, 2010, 07:43:14 PM »
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  •    “What were you thinking!? Your career is at stake now!”

       Xavier stared at the ground as he got a row from Hayden. He was too tired to argue back and he just wasn't in the mood. What Gabriel had said to him was the truth. He was planning to steal Kaitlyn away from his cousin again. Why? Because he could.

       “I'm sorry.” he sighed, shuffling his feet. He looked up at her. Hayden's brown eyes had melted to obsidian, which only meant one thing; she was angry.

       “Sorry won't cover it! Frai will have your head. One, you don't do a job. And two, you tell someone about The Company!”

       “They only found out the name.” Xavier said, getting up.

       “You're lucky that your cousin didn't find out that you're Sexta!” she snapped, before walking out the door.

       As it slammed, the room seemed to dull. Xavier ran a hand down his face and made his way into his bedroom. On the bed lay his assassin's bag, his 9mm pistol showing. He reached inside and grabbed the mask. What had Gabriel done to him? He racked his brain, his brows furrowed with concentration. He had only drank water at Gabriel's house.

       That was it. Xavier's eyes widened. Somehow, Gabriel had gotten hold of truth serum and had slipped it into his water. His hand tightened around his mask, and his other one reached into his bag and grabbed the pistol. Loading a new magazine into it, he stuck it into the waistband on his jeans. The silver of his eyes blackened at the edges, while the area around his pupils became an almost perfect white.

       He looked at his mask and walked out of the apartment with it in his hand.



       Standing in front of the gravestone, the wind blew Gabriel's hair away from his angled face. It had been a while since he had been to this cemetery. His ancestors had originally come from Foxburn, but only a few had died here. The flowers in his hand were tiger lilies, the brilliant orange of the petals standing out against the all black of his outfit. The green grass around his feet quivered as he knelt before the cold grey stone. The inscription on it read:

    Here Lies
    Gabriel Stefan Anton Northman-Lasron.
    31 Oct 1969 – 31 Oct 1987.
    Resting Where No Shadows Fall.
    ]

       He placed the lilies on the ground in front of the stone. It seemed strange, visiting his own grave. But there was no body in it. When Gabriel had died on his eighteenth birthday twenty two years ago, something had stopped him passing over to the other side. When his parents had crossed over to The Other Side, he hadn't. It seemed like he had some unfinished business to attend to.

       A few days after that, he had met Kaitlyn for the first time. She had captured his heart. He had fallen in love with her, and vice versa. Then, suddenly, she had been taken away from him. Someone had killed her. That someone, had been his beloved cousin, Xavier. Soon after that, Gabriel has sought revenge and killed him.

       After that, every time he moved some place else, Kaitlyn would be there. And once again, they would fall in love. Yet, as soon as they got close enough, Xavier would kill her.

       He hated it. He hated his cousin for doing it. He hated the fact that Kaitlyn had to die and he couldn't.

       He stood up again, hiding his hands in his pockets. He had to tell Kaitlyn before she slipped away from him again. He looked at his grave one last time before he began to walk away.

       The cemetery was empty except from him. Barely anyone visited this part but he didn't know why that was. He passed grave after grave, most of them made of the light grey granite. But some however, were black marble and stood more than five feet high. Most of the time, these were to remember two family members who had died at the same time. This one was in memory of a mother and a daughter, killed in a freak accident. He didn't know the details but he had known the daughter. Her name had been Susan John and she had been only fourteen when she had died.

       He kept walking, finally reaching the last gravestone. It was a familiar one to him, one that he loathed. It read:

    Here Lies
    Xavier Frank Damien Auguste-Lasron.
    Forever Young And Free.

       His eyes narrowed. He had always found it strange that Xavier's grave didn't have the dates of his birth and death. Gabriel knew that Xavier had been born the year after him, and had died in the same year. His cousin hadn't passed over to The Other Side, just like Gabriel. The questions he always asked himself were why hadn't they passed on? Was it a challenge in life, to beat his cousin to the 'prize' of Kaitlyn? Would he not rest in peace until he had? Or would he continue living? He didn't know the answers to any. They had troubled him ever since he had become what he was.

       The wind whistled through the trees above him, as if the leaves were calling his name. The sky above him darkened with the grey clouds rolling in from the north. Gabriel closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them, feeling the presence of someone else. His crystal glowed so brightly that he could see it from under his shirt. The light of the crystal generated heat, and he could feel it starting to burn his flesh. His hand closed around it and he turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder.

       Something was pressed against the back of his head, and he heard the assailant cock the gun, ready to fire.

       “Move one muscle and I'll shoot.” The voice was slightly distorted, as if it was being heard through a piece of electronic equipment. But nonetheless, it was unmistakable.

       “I knew you were one of those assassins, Xavier.” Gabriel said, letting go of his crystal. His hand was hot and it was still glowing. “You always seemed to be. What's your nickname now?”

       “None of your business!” The gun was pressed harder against his head. “You know the same thing is going to happen again, don't you? That's why you drugged me, so I would tell you the truth.”

       Gabriel let a small smile slide onto his face. “You figured it out then? You're getting smarter.” He ignored his cousin's comment and turned around. He didn't get shot, but he got a surprise when he turned around to see Xavier. His face was covered by the mask he had seen long ago. The blue of the streaks stood out even more vividly against the white. Gabriel met Xavier's eyes and they darkened considerably. He truly was an assassin. The Sexta assassin.

       “So...it's true. You're Sexta now.” Gabriel's voice was quiet. Knowing that his own blood relative was such a powerful person sent a chill through his body.

       “So? What's it to you?” Xavier said, the voice laced with ice.

       “I never thought that Sexta was you, Xavier.” Gabriel said. “He seemed...too cool to be you.”

       Xavier's eyes narrowed and he aimed the gun at the middle of Gabriel's forehead. “Tell me something. Did you dream that you were going to be killed tonight?”

       “It doesn't matter what dream I had. You can't kill me Xavier, and you know you can't,” was Gabriel's reply, causing the gun to dig into him. The assassin's eyes narrowed but Gabriel knew he was right. Nothing could kill him. He'd been shot,
    stabbed, beaten up and ran over. Yet, he was still alive.

       “You know it and I know it. We both know what I am,” Gabriel said, “And we both know what you are too.”



       “Michael, I'm going to see Mom and Dad!” Kaitlyn called, pulling her coat around her. It was a rich, deep purple with a zebra print silk lining. At the bottom of the back was half a golden star, just where her own bottom was. The hood itself had black faux fur on the inside of it and around the edges, keeping her head warm in colder weather. It was one of her favourite pieces of clothing.

       “Remember the flowers.” Her brother called back. She looked at the table beside the door where a bouquet of white roses lay. She smiled and picked them up watching for the thorns.

       “I'll be back soon. See ya!” Kaitlyn walked out, closing the door behind her. The cold January air nipped her face and she pulled her hood up, welcoming the warmth it brought.

       She turned left at her gate, walking down the path that led to the cemetery. Passing neighbouring houses, she hid her hands in her pockets and kept her head down slightly. It was the same path she had walked for ten years of her life. Once a month she ventured down the concrete slabs to visit her parents.
       
       When she arrived at the gates that led into the cemetery, Kaitlyn paused. In the distance, between two gravestones she could see a couple of people standing close together. One of them had their arm out towards the other; as if the hand was resting on a shoulder.

       Shivering, even in her warm coat, she walked through the iron gates and made her way down the gravel path. It crunched beneath her feet and she cradled the roses as if they were a new born baby. As she walked towards them, the two people became more distinct. She couldn't see the face on the one that had his back to her, but over the guy's shoulder stood another boy who had auburn hair and golden eyes.

       “What is Gabriel doing here?” she muttered to herself quietly. Her footsteps slowed slightly but she ignored them; she had important things to do.

       As she neared the almost perfect white stone, Kaitlyn slowed to a halt. Even though she came here so often, it still hurt her heart to see her parents' gravestone. She had only been six when her parents has been murdered in their old home in a town twenty miles east of Foxburn.  Soon after that, Michael had taken her and moved in with their Uncle Bert. Soon after Michael had turned sixteen, Uncle Bert had been hit with a truck. Misfortune ran in the family.

       Being sixteen, and her brother being nineteen, Kaitlyn had always been at Michael's side. Wherever he went, she would go too. They had attended the same schools and clubs together despite the three years between them.

       She placed the roses on the gravestone, looking at the names engraved into the marble. Lightly, her fingertips traces the letters one by one. She did miss them. Their killer was locked up in jail now. That was the only thing that pleased her.

       “You know it and I know it. We both know what I am. And we both know what you are too.”

       The words went into her ears. Kaitlyn's green and red eyes found the two boys; Gabriel and someone else. Looking closely, she could see that the other boy had silver hair. Gabriel's hands were casually slung in his pockets as he looked at his companion. The hand that looked as if it was resting on Gabriel's shoulder was actually at eye level, holding something metal.

       It was a gun. Kaitlyn's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Gabriel was being held at gun point! What should she do? Her instinct took over and she ducked behind a gravestone, making her way towards them.

       “Shut up Gabriel. I don't want to hear it.” The voice sounded like it was being spoken through a piece of electronic equipment. She didn't know who it belonged to.

       She was now only a few feet away from them.

       “I don't care if you don't want to hear it. What if there is someone here that needs to hear it? Hmm? What if there is someone that knows both of us, knows we're hiding something and is spying on us?” Gabriel asked. Kaitlyn's heart skipped a beat. Did he know she was near him? If he did, how did he know?

       The other boy's voice was laced with slight panic. “Why would someone do that?”

       “How should I know?” Gabriel said, sighing slightly.

       “Enough of the games.” His companion snarled. There was something about that voice that Kaitlyn just couldn't quite put her finger on. It was as if she knew the voice...

       “Hypocrite.” Gabriel snapped.

       Kaitlyn peeked out from behind the gravestone to see if she could see the face of Gabriel's company. She had to muffle a gasp when she saw that he was wearing a mask. It was no ordinary one either. It was the one that belonged to the famous assassin, Sexta. The blue streaks were well known. And now he had Gabriel at gun point.

       Suddenly, two sets of eyes were on her. Gold and silver, the complete opposites of each other. As she looked from Gabriel to the other one, something clicked.

       “Xavier?!” she exclaimed.

       “Kaitlyn!? Shit!” Xavier exclaimed, his eyes widening. “What are you doing here?”

       “I was just visiting my parents' grave.” she answered, getting to her feet. Immediately, Gabriel was standing slightly in front of her. He looked down at her before looking at his cousin.

       “Take the mask off.” he ordered. Xavier shook his head. “Do it or I'll rip it off.” he continued. Again, Xavier shook his head. Gabriel sighed and made to go for Xavier.

       “Ok!” Xavier held up a hand, the other one that was holding the gun was now lowered to his side. Slowly, he reached up and removed his mask.

       Kaitlyn saw what Xavier hid under his bandage. The silver 'x' on his forehead was shining slightly. She wanted to touch it. Her fingers quivered slightly. As if noticing this, Xavier pulled a clean bandage out of his pocket and wrapped it round his forehead with expertise. The connection between Kaitlyn and the 'x' was broken and she blinked rapidly.

       “Let's get you home...” Gabriel said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

       “I'll go home if you answer a question for me.” She said, staying put.

       “It depends on the question.” Gabriel raised an arched eyebrow.

       “Well, what did you mean by earlier when you said 'You know it and I know it. We both know what I am. And we both know what you are too.' to Xavier?”

       Both sets of eyes were on her again. Gabriel's were full of shock, while Xavier's looked panicked.

       “You...heard that?” Xavier said slowly, un-cocking his gun and sticking it in his jeans.

       “Of course I did. But what did you mean by it?” Kaitlyn lightly prodded Gabriel in the chest.

       “Listen, Kaitlyn...I don't think now is the time to tell you.” Gabriel's voice was low and serious, very unlike him. Xavier nodded in agreement, even though they were always at each others throats.

       “Why not? I'm as ready as I'll ever be!” she pouted, crossing her arms.

       “You're not ready.” Xavier said, “Trust us when we say that.” His voice was soft and quiet. To Kaitlyn, it was as if Xavier and Gabriel had changed voices.




       The sun was setting behind the horizon when Gabriel arrived back at his apartment. Unlocking the door, he opened it to reveal a horrible mess.

       The painting that had once hung on the walls were now slashed messes; the leather of the sofa had been ripped apart violently; curtains were hanging off rails; glass was lying on the linoleum floor; the television that was once on the wall was now on the ground, in pieces.

       Rage and fear filled him. “Megan!?” he called, racing into her room. It was just as messy as the living room. Megan's duvet had been torn to pieces, the soft feather lying everywhere. Precious possessions were broken.

       He raced into his own room. No luck; just another mess. What was going on? Where was Megan? Who had trashed their apartment?

       A small creak made him crouch quickly, his eyes narrowing. Near him was a letter opener, the one he had gotten from his father long, long ago. It was a pure silver that shone brilliantly. His hand tightened around it and Gabriel slowly crept to the door.

       Looking out into the living room, all of the doors were flung open apart from the kitchen. Something wasn't right. The letter opener in his hand moved slightly as he adjusted his grip. A small bead of sweat rolled down his forehead as he chanted under his breath, almost inaudible. As he finished it, the crystal fed power into him. His muscles became stronger, his legs and arms more powerful. His eyesight became more defined, the colours brightening.

       With one small movement, he was at the kitchen door, ready to throw it open and jump on the intruder. His heart was beating hard against his ribcage, the blood running through his body fuelled by adrenaline.

       His free hand grabbed the door handle and he swung the door open, almost taking it off its hinges. The kitchen, to Gabriel's surprise, was not a mess. It was in it's original state.

       But what caught his attention were the two people standing in the middle of the kitchen. One of them was Megan. She was an ashen white, her eyes wide with fear. Pressed against her neck was a crystal-handled dagger, the blade polished to an evil shine.

       Behind her stood a masked girl. A white mask with red slashed.

       Inferno.
    « Last Edit: August 29, 2010, 05:45:57 PM by Kensei-Teichou »

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Online Chinaren

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #40 on: January 21, 2010, 11:45:16 PM »
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  • Well written KT!  Nice, except for the use of the 'word' gotten.  Which I hate.  :mad:

     :-O
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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #41 on: January 23, 2010, 04:03:05 PM »
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  • ...oops. I keep using that word... >.< Ok. In the next chapter, I'll try not to use it :)

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #42 on: February 12, 2010, 05:22:19 PM »
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  • Sorry for the delay guys... chapter seven should be up soon *crosses fingers*

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #43 on: March 10, 2010, 10:42:19 PM »
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  • ...chapter seven has been severely delayed. Sorry. I'll start writing it again on Friday  :-s

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



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    Offline Saint

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #44 on: August 02, 2010, 01:32:54 PM »
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  • [mod]Congratulations! Your story has won mod favourite for August 2010. You've won a groat prize and your story will be stickied should you accept your prize.[/mod]

    Online Chinaren

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #45 on: August 02, 2010, 03:26:27 PM »
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  • Well done KT!  I must get around to catching up with this, once I've managed to get my PC upgraded properly that is.  >(
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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #46 on: August 05, 2010, 06:56:31 PM »
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  • Awww WOW! Thank you! :D I'm chuffed now :3
    I SHALL CONTINUE WRITING THIS FOR MY FANS!
    ...If I have any.

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Online Chinaren

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #47 on: August 06, 2010, 01:02:25 AM »
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  • Caught up! 

    Good enough plot, but you need to proofread a little more, catch those errors, of which there are quite a lot of small ones. 

    Also, try not to use the 'words' got or gotten.  Terrible they are.  :mad:
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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #48 on: August 06, 2010, 07:56:31 PM »
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  • I'll proofread it eventually :) and I'm two pages into Chapter 7! I hope the plot works out...
    And China, just for you, I'll make sure I won't use those words :)

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Chapter 7
    « Reply #49 on: August 15, 2010, 12:47:22 AM »
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  •    “You!” Gabriel snarled, hands curling into fists. He never expected Inferno to be standing in his kitchen, with a knife pressed against his friend’s throat. It didn’t seem real. He cursed his dreams for not telling him sooner.

       “Hello, Gabriel.” Inferno’s voice had the same electronic style as Xavier’s; Gabriel put it down to the mask. “I don’t believe we’ve met. Yet, you obviously know who I am.”

       “Why are you here?” Gabriel took a few steps into the kitchen, but stopped when he noticed the knife pressing harder against Megan’s throat, causing a thin line of blood to trail down her neck. Megan whimpered, eyes glued on Gabriel.

       “Just another job.” Inferno chuckled. Her eyes were pitch black, just like her clothes. “I get paid for doing this, you know.”

       “Why Megan?!” Gabriel felt the all too familiar beast rearing up inside of him, the chains that held it down straining. “Why her and not me?!”

       Inferno’s eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t ordered to kill you.”

       And with that, the knife slid across Megan’s neck.


       Blood began to spurt out of Megan’s open neck, some landing on Gabriel. Her mouth opened but no sound came out. Inferno dropped the lifeless body of Gabriel’s friend, and he snapped.

       He ran at Inferno, grabbing her wrists and forcing her to drop the knife. The beast within him broke free from the chains and roared. Inferno tried to fight back, but Gabriel’s grief was too much for her to overcome. Soon, she was on the ground with his hands around her neck.

       “YOU BITCH!” Gabriel bellowed, tightening the grip on her neck. Inferno let out a slight gasp, scratching at his hands. Nevertheless, he kept his hands tight. “Who do you work for?!”

       “N-No…” Inferno gasped from behind her mask.

       “Tell me!” Gabriel snarled, beginning to dig his nails into the soft flesh below his hands. “Tell me, or I swear to God I will rip your throat out right now!”

       “…Her…Her name is…J-Juna Frai…” Inferno squeezed out, letting her hands fall to her sides, energy beginning to leave her.

       “Thank you.” Gabriel growled, loosening his hands. “I’ll let you live for that.” Without any warning Gabriel grabbed the sides of Inferno‘s head and smashed it against the ground beneath, knocking her unconscious. Around her neck was a crystal, similar to both his and Xavier’s. Without a second thought, he ripped it off and stuck it in his pocket.

       Gabriel got up, his arms shaking slightly. He looked back at Megan’s body. She was lying face down in a pool of her own blood. Bile began to rise from his stomach. He bolted for the bathroom, just making it in time.

       He sat down, his back against the bath. He was shaking violently. The taste of sick was still in his mouth, but he didn’t make a move to get rid of it with water. He sat there, his knees up against his chest, with the scene replaying in his head. He didn’t even think about the fact that an assassin was lying unconscious in his kitchen.

       He had to get out of there. He slowly got to his feet once the shaking had subsided. Making his way to his room, he grabbed a few clean clothes and stuffed them into a bag. The only place that he thought to go to was his mentor.   

       With that in mind, he made his way out of the door without looking back.



       Gabriel chapped on the wooden door, bag by his feet. He never even gave his bloody shirt a second thought. He knew his face was pale, his hair a mess from running his hands through it, his eyes haunted. He had never witnessed a human do something so…cold.

       The door opened slightly, just enough to let whoever was behind it see who was outside. A pair of dark brown eyes met with this, before the door swung open fully to reveal Gabriel’s mentor.

       Kazuki Endo was a tall, lean Japanese man who was 23 years old, dressed in a simple blue hakama and had a katana strapped to his waist. His brown hair was messy but looked styled. His eyes widened as he saw his student on his doorstep, looking like death itself.

       “Gabriel!” His accent was fading fast, becoming tinged with American. “What happened to you?”

       Gabriel bowed deeply, a sign of respect. “I’m sorry, Endo-san. I didn’t know where else to go.” He kept his eyes on the ground, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, to see his mentor and friend smiling slightly at him.

       “Drop the honorific and call me by my first name. Come in.” Gabriel straightened and followed Kazuki into his home, taking his shoes off as he closed the front door. Kazuki led them over to some tatami mats, and sat down.

       “Now, tell me why you’ve shown up here at this hour. It’s 6am.“ Kazuki’s words were kind, like his features. Gabriel sat down, placed his hands on his knees and sighed.

       “I went home today and found my apartment trashed and Megan gone. I went into the kitchen and Megan was there with Inferno pressing a knife to her throat.” Gabriel looked at Kazuki, and saw that he was listening intently. He carried on, “I didn’t know what to do. And then…then….” Gabriel stopped, biting on his bottom lip, the images of earlier on flashing behind his eyes. “Megan…Inferno, she…”

       “I understand.” Kazuki nodded. “And that’s why you came here. You don’t have to say anymore. You can stay here as long as you want.”

       Gabriel smiled gratefully at his friend and rested his hands above his pockets. Remembering the crystal, he pulled it out and held it towards Kazuki. “Inferno was wearing this.”

       Kazuki’s eyes widened. “That’s one of the four…” He took the crystal by the leather throng and examined it. Gabriel watched as Kazuki looked over every part of the small gem. “This is the weakest one.” His eyes met Gabriel’s. “Do you have any idea where she might have got it?”

       Gabriel began to shake his head, when something clicked. Xavier has a crystal. Xavier was also an assassin, just like Inferno. There had to be a connection. He voiced these thoughts to Kazuki, who nodded solemnly. “That might be the case. It seems like we have to talk with your cousin.”

       “I’ve tried that.” Gabriel sighed, “I even used the truth serum. All I got was The Company and a woman called June Frai. Inferno also told me that name when I interrogated her - well, almost strangled her - so they have to be related. They both work for the same people.” Gabriel played with his hands as Kazuki laid the crystal between them. “I want to get stronger.” Kazuki started and looked up at him, surprised  by the suddent request. “I want to learn the ways of Kendo. Please.” Gabriel bowed again, bringing his head to the floor.

       Kazuki smiled. “If you wish to learn the way of the sword, I shall teach you. Not only will you train your body, you will train your mind.” Kazuki stood. “However, you cannot learn the true way of Kendo, The time we have is too short. I shall teach you swordsmanship.” He looked at his friend. “There is a guest room upstairs; the first door on the right. Get some rest. I’ll call you when breakfast is ready.” Kazuki headed outside and made his way to his dojo, where he trained.

       Gabriel smiled and picked up his bag. Maybe some sleep was what he needed. He just hoped it would be long and comfortable, and not plagued with the future…or the past.



       Kaitlyn’s head was spinning. At the time, she has brushed it off but now that she was alone, lying on her bed with her husky Kub at her side, her mind began to race. What had Gabriel been talking about? She groaned and hid her pillow in her face. It confused her.

       Thirst began to gnaw at her throat, so she threw the pillow to the side and sat up. Her brother had gone out with some friends, so she was home alone. She made her way into the immaculate kitchen, Kub on her heels. He whined slightly and Kaitlyn scratched behind his ear.

       “You hungry boy?” She smiled at her dog, and began to dig around in the cupboard for a tin of dog food. Finally retrieving one from behind a few packets of rice, she opened it and emptied it into Kub’s bowl. Hungrily, he began to devour it.

       Kaitlyn reached into the cupboard beside the sink and took out a glass and filled it with water from the tap. As she began to drink it, her eyes wandered around her kitchen and her head began to hurt.

       “Why does it have to be so confusing?” She muttered to herself, closing her eyes once she had finished her drink. She sighed and opened her eyes. “I wish it’d all go away…”

       Her eyes landed on a few bottles of alcohol that Michael had left out; wine, vodka and whiskey. They were untouched and something at the back of Kaitlyn’s mind urged her to go forward and grab a bottle, open it and drink. She had never tried alcohol before, not properly. Sure, she had had a few sips of wine from a friend’s glass at a party but that was it.

       Kaitlyn put the glass in the sink, and her feet moved her towards the bottles. The sensible part of her mind screamed for her to stop, but another part was telling her over and over again, that it would take away her problems.

       Her mind drifted back to one party she had went to. It had been Eva’s brother’s 18th and everyone had a drink in their hand. The music had been loud, the lights had been flashing. Kaitlyn had watched people down drink after drink after drink. Eva had had a few glasses of wine but was still sober. April had only sipped at hers. Kaitlyn had finished one glass and refused to have another. Eva’s brother, Marco, was on the dance floor with some friend of his, a girl. She had been all over him, moving her hips this way, then that. Everyone had been having a great time, and Kaitlyn had put it down to the alcohol.

       Maybe, if she had enough to drink, she would have a good time too.

       Kaitlyn’s hands found the bottle of whiskey first. She had never tried the amber liquid before, but it didn’t stop her from unscrewing the cap and taking a huge swig from the glass bottle.

       Immediately it burned her throat. She let out a choking cough before grimacing. “Oh fuck…” Nevertheless, she took another mouthful. She wanted to have a good time and if it meant being in slight pain, she’d bare it. Her throat was on fire, so she put down the whiskey and looked at the bottle of wine. She couldn’t exactly remember how it tasted, but she wanted to try it. Kaitlyn unscrewed the lid from the wine, and braced herself for the burning as she raised the bottle to her mouth. Instead of having her throat set alight, it was a pleasant sensation. It seemed to warm up her insides, which she liked. Maybe this is what having a good time was.

       Kaitlyn sat down at the kitchen table and began to drink more. The feeling of it running down her throat was welcomed. Kub was whining, but she ignored him. Her left hand never let go of the bottle, and she kept raising it to her mouth.

       “They’re dumb…” She said to herself, her words slurring slightly at the edges. “They didn’t tell me anything…” Kaitlyn downed the rest of the wine and set the bottle back on the table. She looked at the two bottles left, but didn’t move to reach for them. Instead, she pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and scrolled through the numbers saved onto it. “I’ll give them a piece of my mind.” she muttered, finally picking the last number on her phone. Smirking slightly, she hit the dial button and held the phone to her ear.

       The phone rang four times, before it was replaced with a “Hello?”

       “Xavier!” Kaitlyn grinned, lying the bottle on the table and spinning it around. “You…You’re awesome man, you know?”

       “Kaitlyn…are you okay?” Xavier sighed through the phone.

       “I’m fine!” Kaitlyn giggled, before frowning seriously. Now was the time to yell at him. “Xavier, what the hell were you and Gabriel talking about in the…in the…”

       “Cemetery?” Xavier offered.

       “Yes!” Kaitlyn laughed. “Yes, there! Tell me what you were saying to each other.”

       “Kaitlyn, you’ve been drinking, haven’t you?” Xavier asked.

       Kaitlyn scowled. “Just…tell me!”

       Xavier sighed again. “No. You’re in no state for me to tell you. You’ve been drinking. I can’t stand people that drink underage.”

       Kaitlyn spun the bottle fiercly, and it went flying over the edge. Upon hitting the ground, it shattered and caused Kub to bolt out of the room, barking loudly.

       “You…You’re so mean to me!” Kaitlyn whined. What was with the change in moods? Was it the alcohol? “You and Gabriel both! You won’t tell me…anything!”

       “Kaitlyn, I’m hanging up and coming over.” And with that, he ended the call.

       Kaitlyn stared at her phone. What was he playing at? Did he really think she was going to let him in the house? She sighed and went to stand up, finding that she was slightly dizzy.

       Making her way to the stairs, Kub whined at her from the living.

       “Oh shut up.” She grumbled, slowly climbing upstairs with the help of the banister at the side.

       When she got to her room, she collapsed onto her bed with her head in the pillow. She cursed Xavier under her breath, then Gabriel. They just hurt her head.


       Downstairs, the doorbell rang. Kaitlyn ignored it, knowing that it was Xavier. She covered her face with a pillow and rolled onto her back. Despite shouting at Xavier, she had learned nothing. She groaned as she heard Xavier banging on the front door.

       “Kaitlyn! Open up!” He shouted, causing Kub to bark madly, going into protective mode. “Open the door or I’ll open it myself!”

       “Go away!” Kaitlyn yelled, her voice muffled by her pillow. She heard someone, presumably Kub, run up the stairs open the door into her room. She lifted her face to look at the husky and found someone standing in the doorway. It hadn’t been Kub coming up the stairs.

       “Kaitlyn, get a grip of yourself.” Xavier sat on her bed, looking at her with his fearsome grey eyes. They looked like pools of liquid metal to Kaitlyn and she sat upright, looking at her hands. “”Why were you drinking?” He was concerned; his voice betrayed him.

       Kaitlyn shrugged and looked up at him, but she couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes. She was wrong to think that the alcohol would have made her happy. Her lip trembled and she watched Xavier has he sighed, his eyes closing momentarily before he opened them again.

       “Come here…” Xavier put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. Her hand fell over his chest, right above where his heart was situated. She felt a strong beat beneath the toned chest, almost as if it was going to beat it’s way out of Xavier’s ribcage. She used her other hand to wipe away the tears that were clinging to her eyelashes and she looked up at Xavier’s face. His eyes were looking away, as if into the distance. Something fluttered within her stomach and she slightly tightened the grip on his shirt. Maybe… the alcohol could still make her happy.

       Xavier was lost in his own thoughts, she could see that. Kaitlyn sniffed, and Xavier blinked a few times before looking down at her. She closed her eyes and leaned in, closing the distance between them, about to feel his lips on her…

       Suddenly, strong hands were on her shoulders, pushing her away. Stunned, she opened her eyes. Xavier’s arms were trembling ever so slightly, and his face was hidden from view as he looked downwards. Something in her heart hurt at the fact that he had rejected her. The alcohol in her system was making her think things that had never crossed her mind. It was making her want things she had never wanted.

       Xavier’s arms fell to his sides and he sighed, looking up at her. His eyes were protected; he was hiding something he didn’t want her to see. It angered her, that he was hiding something. Something in her snapped, and her hands shoved Xavier’s onto the bed by his shoulders, and she straddled his waist, looking down at him.

       “What are you hiding?” She said, her hands circled his wrists and pulled his hands up to over his head. He didn’t fight back, he just stared at her, mouth open slightly. She bent down and whispered into his ear. “Tell me.” The alcohol seemed to take over her actions. One hand held onto both of Xavier’s bracelet covered wrists, as the other one travelled down over his chest, to his belt…

       “No!” Xavier turned the tables, flipping them over so Kaitlyn was pinned into the bed. There it was. The protected look in his eyes was gone and Kaitlyn stared into the silver orbs, trying to pinpoint the emotion.

       Abruptly, he got off her, and headed for the door, keeping his head down and stuffing his hands in his pockets. Kaitlyn could see that he was shaking. He never looked back as he left.

       Kaitlyn lay on her bed, blinking several times at the ceiling. What was that emotion? The alcohol was wearing off, leaving her with a slightly headache. She forced herself to think hard. She replayed the look on his face over and over again before it clicked. Kaitlyn gasped and sat upright.

       The emotion that had been in Xavier’s eyes had been fear.



       “Gabriel.” He stirred as he heard someone call his name. “Gabriel, wake up.” A soft, warm hand rested on his bare shoulder and he cracked an eye open, to find himself looking up at Kazuki. He smiled at the older male and sat upright, yawning. Kazuki was sitting on the chair next to his bed, smiling back at him.

       “What time is it?” Gabriel asked, stretching. The light hit off his chest, defining the muscles. He felt better after a few hours of sleep. His blood stained shirt was now lying in the bin somewhere.

       “Half past eight. Go have a shower and then come downstairs and have breakfast. I left a hakama for you at the bottom of your bed, so dress in that. I’ll meet you in the dojo.” Kazuki leaned across and ruffles Gabriel’s auburn hair. Golden eyes met brown and an understanding of the situation at hand grew between them, before Kazuki smiled. “Hurry up.” Kazuki got up and left the room, leaving Gabriel to let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding.

       Getting out of the warm bed, he headed to the bathroom to shower and wake himself up. He knew that when it came to kendo or any sword technique, Kazuki showed mercy to no-one, and be would be no exception. He would have bruises by the end of the day, he knew that. Kazuki was a well known for the way he wielded a katana.

       As the water rushed over his body, he wondered what would happen the next time he saw his cousin. He knew that he and Inferno worked together, but he didn’t know Inferno’s name. Therefore, he couldn’t hunt her down and find out more about The Company and June Frai.

       He sighed, before getting out of the shower. He slung a towel casually around his hips and draped another on his head, towel-drying his hair as he opened the bathroom door. He headed into his room, put on some boxers and looked at the hakama. He had absolutely no idea how to wear the traditional Japanese garment. He untied and unfolded the jet black cloth, and scratched the back of his head. He sighed again, lying down on the bed beside it.

       “Gabriel? Are you dressed yet?” was the only warning he had before the door opened and Kazuki entered the room. He closed the door behind him, before turning around to face Gabriel. His eyes widened when he realised that Gabriel was just in boxers, lying on the bed. Gabriel raised his head to look at Kazuki before swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

       “I…don’t know how to put a hakama on.” Gabriel said, his face going red with embarrassment. “Can you help me?”

       “S-sure.” Kazuki smattered, fixing his eyes onto the hakama. Gabriel raised an eyebrow when he noticed a slight blush on the older man’s cheeks. He shrugged it off and stood up as Kazuki picked the hakama up from the bed. Kazuki never looked him in the eyes as his pale body was covered with black.

       “There.” Kazuki tied the obi around the middle of the hakama and finally looked up at Gabriel. “Come on. You still have to eat breakfast and it’s already gone nine.”

       “Sorry.” Gabriel chuckled, and followed Kazuki from the bedroom to the kitchen to eat.

       By ten o’clock, they were in the dojo. Kazuki was holding two wooden swords, called bokken. His own katana was strapped to his waist, the sheath and hilt an electric blue. Kazuki handed one of the bokken to Gabriel and held the other one loosely.

       “Seeing as this won’t be proper kendo, I have no need to follow their rules.” Kazuki smirked, a glint in his eye. Gabriel held his own bokken in his right hand, feeling the wood under his calloused fingers. He watched Kazuki closely as he continued. “I want you to come at me with everything you’ve got. It’ll give me time to evaluate your strength and the way you handle a blade.” Kazuki put his right foot slightly behind his left, and fixed his eyes on Gabriel’s. “Let’s go.”

       Gabriel darted forward, bring the sword up to hit Kazuki’s chest. The attack was easily parried and the older man aimed a blow at Gabriel’s abdomen. Stepping backwards quickly, Gabriel avoided the edge of the wood and moved around Kazuki, trying to find any weak points. The brown eyes follwed him as he moved, amusement in them, Gabriel raised the bokken over his head and brought it down, only for Kazuki to capture it with his own.

       “You’re not trying Gabriel.” Kazuki smirked, pushing his bokken into his student’s. “Come on. Throw everything at me.” Gabriel sprang backwards, before striking. There was a flurry of attacks, Kazuki smiling throughout it all. Gabriel parried, dodged, struck but he never reached his mentor. They spun, ducked and weaved, trying to hit each other with the bokken.

       He felt something sharp hit his ribs, making him wince and lose his footing. He eyes closed as he fell to one knee. He heard his mentor chuckle slightly, and he cracked an eye open to look at Kazuki, panting slightly.

       “You’d be wounded if that was a real sword.” Kazuki said, placing one hand on his hip, the other slinging the bokken behind his head. A grin was on his face. “You need to take this more seriously, otherwise you will get hurt.”

       “I know that.” Gabriel wiped the sweat off of his forehead and stood up, readying his bokken. “Here I come.” He darted forward, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration as his sword hit the air where Kazuki had been seconds before.

       “Too slow.” Gabriel spun around, eyes widening. How had Kazuki managed to get behind him so quickly? He received a hit on his collarbone, making him grit his teeth together. Before he could strike back, Kazuki was gone. Gabriel spun around again, A blow to the back of his knees made him cry out, before he landed hard on the dojo floor.

       Kazuki stood over him, arms crossed. “Gabriel, you’ve not managed to hit me once. Meanwhile, you’re badly injured.” He held a hand out to help Gabriel up. A quick smirk made it’s way on Gabriel’s face. He took the offered hand, and sharply pulled down. A yell of surprise came from Kazuki as he landed on top of Gabriel, who was laughing hard.

       “Loosen up a little.” Gabriel smiled at the older man, who was avoiding his eyes. Kazuki scowled as his face went slightly red, before rolling off Gabriel and to his side.

       “We don’t have time to loosen up…” Kazuki trailed off, looking up at the dojo’s ceiling. “Your cousin is planning to do the same thing he does every time you meet him. He’s going to take Kaitlyn.” Kazuki’s brown eyes looked at Gabriel’s golden ones. They were full of concern and underlying love for his student. “You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

       “No, I don’t. But what will make this time any different from the last?” Gabriel sighed, rolling onto his stomach. “He’s an assassin; I’m just an ordinary guy.”

       “An ordinary guy that can fire a gun and, soon enough, wield a sword.” Kazuki encouraged him. “You have just as much talent as Xavier, if not more. You’ll soon be able to take him on.”

       “He won’t die though.” Gabriel muttered, resting his chin on his folded arms. “You know what he is too.”

       “Gabriel, you won’t die either. You need to remember that.”

       Gabriel glanced at the older man. He was right. They couldn’t die, not that they knew of. That was what happened when you were an Immortal.

       “There are seven people in the world who are like us, Gabriel. Yourself, Xavier, and I are only three. I keep in touch with another; Thorn. I’ve spoken about him before.” Kazuki said.

       Gabriel did remember when Kazuki had talked about Thorn. Not just him, but all of them. He had been told the basics he would need to survive in the world as an Immortal. Immortals had no known way of dying. When they get turned into one, they stop aging. The oldest Immortal, named Gilbert, looked forty but was really over 400 years old. The second oldest was a girl named Molly. With the appearance of a nine year old, innocent girl, no one would have ever thought that her real age was closer to 350 than it was to 10. Thorn was the third to turned at the age of 26, making him 169 in real years. Following Thorn was a woman in her late thirties, Cher. Her real age was close to 150. Kazuki was after that, his real age being almost 100. Then, lastly, were Gabriel and Xavier, who should have both been in their thirties or forties by that time.

       The way someone became an Immortal was a mystery. They just didn’t seem to pass over to the other side. Something stopped them. All seven of the Immortals had suffered something similar to Gabriel; they had been involved in a tragic accident in which they should have died.

       Gabriel lightly fingered the scar at the base of his throat. He had lost not only his family, but his best friend in that car crash. He had forgotten about the terrible accident, but not the people. His best friend had been called Oz. It was a weird name, and whoever heard it never forgot it. His hair had been a white blonde in colour, and his eyes had been a deep sea of turquoise. They had grown up together and knew everything there was to know about the other.

       He shook the thoughts from his head and looked at Kazuki. His mentor was standing up.

       “Come on,” he nudged Gabriel in the ribs, “let’s have another practice before dinner. This time, use your anger and emotions and put them behind your sword. Use them as your strength. Use them as your resolve.”

       Gabriel nodded, slowly pushing himself up to his feet. The back of his knees cried out slightly as he moved, causing him the wince.

       “Oh, I forgot to say,” Kazuki called over his shoulder as he made his way to the other end of the dojo, “Thorn will be here tomorrow.”
    « Last Edit: September 15, 2010, 10:53:40 PM by Kensei-Teichou »

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Online Chinaren

    Re: Gaping Flaws - Moderator's Favourite August 2010
    « Reply #50 on: August 16, 2010, 02:19:38 PM »
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  • Woo, long chapter!  I'll catch up on it when I get a bit of time to sit down and read it properly Ketch.

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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws - Moderator's Favourite August 2010
    « Reply #51 on: August 16, 2010, 04:27:33 PM »
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  • Yeah, I sort of got carried away >.> it's more than 4,000 words :)

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Online Chinaren

    Re: Gaping Flaws - Moderator's Favourite August 2010
    « Reply #52 on: August 21, 2010, 01:24:46 AM »
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  • Finally caught up then!  Nicely written KeTe!  :thumbs:

    Quote
    Maybe, if she had enough to drink, she would have a good time too.

    This is a common mistake!  Actually getting drunk tends to emphasize your mood, so if you're down, it makes you more down. 
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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws - Moderator's Favourite August 2010
    « Reply #53 on: August 26, 2010, 10:46:11 PM »
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  • I know, but she doesn't know that lol i didn't know that until the first time I drank XD baaaaaaaad mistake.

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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #54 on: September 15, 2010, 09:08:33 PM »
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  • Okay guys.
    I'm aiming to get Chapter 8 done and up by tonight. I'm on page 6 already. I'm looking at doing 8 or 9 pages.About 3000/4000 words. :)

    A Clash Of Beasts.


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    Offline Panda-Brain

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #55 on: September 15, 2010, 10:45:16 PM »
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  • Caught up. It's good :)

    However;

    Quote
    How had Kazuki managed to get behind him so quickly? He received a hit on his collarbone
    With a bokken, I doubt you'd be able to hit their collarbone from behind. Or at the very least, I don't see how it'd work =P

    Quote
    “No, I don’t. But what will make this time any different from the last?” Gabriel sighed, rolling onto his stomach. “He’s an assassin; I’m just an ordinary guy.”

       “An ordinary guy that can fire a gun and, soon enough, wield a sword.” Kazuki encouraged him. “You have just as much talent as Xavier, if not more. You’ll soon be able to take him on.”

       “He won’t die though.” Xavier muttered, resting his chin on his folded arms. “You know what he is too.”

       “Gabriel, you won’t die either. You need to remember that.”
    Is that meant to be 'Gabriel muttered'?

    That's it though, minus a few typos. Like somewhere you done;
    ""[words here]"
    Just little things like that :)

    Good chappy though!
    Swallow the knife.

    I just love the way you're running out of life.

    Deliver me from broken love.

    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #56 on: September 15, 2010, 10:50:34 PM »
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  • I can't believe I called Gabriel, Xavier ¬_¬ Cheers Hayley.
    And as for the bokken, think about it. You're behind someone, raise the bokken and strike down on the collarbone.

    And did I actually write "[words here]" ?

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    Offline Kensei-Teichou

    Chapter 8
    « Reply #57 on: September 15, 2010, 10:57:45 PM »
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  •    Xavier walked into his apartment and shut the door, leaning against it and closing his eyes. The whole scenario with Kaitlyn had rattled him. He had never expected her to try and kiss him. Even then, her hand had been wandering downwards.

       He gritted his teeth together and made his way to the living room. Hayden wasn’t back yet, and he was glad she wasn’t. He wanted to be left alone. Letting himself fall onto the sofa, he unwrapped the bandage around his head. Around him, auras peacefully surrounded objects, most of them white. There was a red aura in the corner, where Hayden’s sniper rifle hid in it’s guitar case, making him wonder why Hayden had gone on a job without her favourite weapon.

       Outside he could hear cars and buses pass by, oblivious to the world he lived in. The people who lived upstairs were playing music so loud that Xavier could make out the lyrics clearly. Downstairs were quiet, as always.

       He felt restless. He had to get out and sort his head. He had to be on the move, alone, like the killer he was. He groaned and rubbed his forehead slightly, tracing the outline of the ‘X’. Glancing around the room, he shoved himself up off the sofa and went into his bedroom to sling his leather jacket on.

       A knock at the door startled him, making him place his back to the wall quickly. He automatically reached for his Beretta, tucking it into the waistband of his jeans as he moved out of his room. Xavier’s grey eyes narrowed, taking in the aura around the door. It was the same innocent white it always was, which meant he was in no immediate danger. As soon as the person touched the door, their aura took over and that was the colour he judged the situation on. He put the small chain lock on the door before opening it, just to be safe.

       Standing before him was Kaitlyn, panting slightly. “Let me in. We need to talk.”

       “Kaitlyn, go away.” he groaned. “I don’t want to talk. Just leave me alone for now.” Xavier went to shut the door, only for Kaitlyn to put her foot in between the door and it’s frame.

       “No.” Her eyebrows were drawn together, showing how serious she was. Xavier narrowed his eyes a little more, before pulling back the jacket and showing the metal weapon.

       “Go. Now.” He growled. He wasn’t afraid to shoot her. He was a merciless killer. His hand hovered over the gun, and Kaitlyn’s eyes landed on it.

       “Xavier, come on. We just need to talk.” Her voice wavered slightly, and Xavier watched as her white aura became tinged with the light purple of fear. He wanted that colour to grow. He wanted it to take over the innocence and consume her, all the way to her soul.

       “Kaitlyn, don’t think I won’t shoot you.” Xavier said through gritted teeth, before shoving her foot out of the way and slamming the door. He cursed Kaitlyn as he locked the door. Now he couldn’t go out.

       “Xavier! Please!” Kaitlyn pounded on the door but Xavier ignored her. He made his way into his room, dumping his gun onto the side table before collapsing on the bed.

       Blocking out the outside noises, he drifted off into a fitful sleep.



       Gabriel was in the dojo practicing when Kazuki slid open the door. It was only seven in the morning, but already Gabriel had wielding his bokken since six. Sweat covered his forehead, making his auburn hair stick to him.

       “Gabriel, Thorn will arrive shortly. Go get cleaned up; he is your elder after all.” Kazuki said, folding his arms. “He has a present for you.” A smile flitted over Kazuki’s face before it became deadly serious.

       “What’s wrong?” Gabriel questioned, panting slightly as he lowered his bokken. “You seem…worked up.”

       “I’ve done some research about The Company. I need to talk to you once Thorn gets here. He can help us.” Kazuki turned to leave, before looking back at Gabriel. He paused, as if he was going to say something but decided against it. He smiled, then left.

       Gabriel frowned slightly. He placed his bokken on the ground, next to the dojo’s doors, and went after Kazuki.

       “What did you find out about The Company?” Gabriel asked, before he made his way up the stairs to the bathroom.

       “Like I said, I’ll tell you when Thorn gets here. Now, go shower.” Kazuki called from the kitchen. The smell of omelettes filled Gabriel’s nostrils, making his stomach growl loudly. He hurried up the stairs to shower.


       After the sweat had been washed from his body, Gabriel came down in another hakama, this one a deep red in colour. He sniffed, smelling the omelettes and another smell. Puzzled, he made his way into the kitchen.

       Kazuki was sitting at the oak table, eating his own omelette. “Sit and eat.” Kazuki ordered him. The calm air that was always present around the older man was gone. He placed a small wooden cup on the table, the contents of which was green. Gabriel sniffed above the cup slightly, confirming that the new odour was coming from it.

       Kazuki looked at him, and a small smile appeared on his tanned face. “It’s green tea. You might like it.”

       “I’ll pass.” Gabriel said, sitting down. Picking up his fork, he began to stuff the omelette into his mouth. His eyes widened slightly. Wow, Kazuki could cook.

       Kazuki’s smiled faded. It worried Gabriel. The older man was always smiling, even in the middle of battle. Seeing him like this was not only worrying, but confusing. Just what had Kazuki found out about The Company?

       There was a knock on the door; three short raps. Kazuki got up suddenly, and without looking at Gabriel, went to the door. Gabriel automatically knew it was Thorn. Something inside him surged. He was going to meet another Immortal. Someone just like him, Kazuki and Xavier. It was an odd feeling; a mix of joy, nervousness and hope.

       He didn’t hear anyone speak as the door was opened, then closed. Light footsteps in the hall were the only warning he got before they appeared in the doorway.

       Thorn was a tall, toned male with straight, jet black hair that fell down to his waist. His hair was extremely layered, with short layers on top that were dyed a vibrant orange. His choppy fringe fell to eye level, nearly covering his eyes. Gabriel had never seen someone with complete heterochromia before; Thorn’s left eye was pitch black, whilst his left was as red as a ruby. Running across from his left ear to his nose was a scar, a shade or two darker than his pale skin tone. He was wearing what looked like a skin tight turtle neck top with no sleeves, made of lycra. It showed off his abdominal muscles slightly, as well as exposing his arm muscles. They were covered in scars. There were small ones, and ones that ran from his collar bone to his elbow. Gabriel wondered how he got them. Matching the top were a pair of black skinny jeans and combat boots. He was holding a rectangular box in his left hand, made of mahogany wood with leather handles. Gabriel’s eyes drifted between the box and Thorn, trying to decide what to look at as he stood up.

       “Gabriel, this is Thorn. Thorn, meet Gabriel.” Kazuki said, sitting back down at the table, looking as if a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
       “Yo!” Thorn grinned, holding out his right hand. Gabriel noticed that he had a tattoo on the inside of his right forearm, the only part untouched by scars; it was a tribal scorpion with it’s tail raised, in the striking position. Gabriel admired it as he took the offered hand. Thorn saw him looking and smiled. “I’ve got another on my back. It’s a dragon.”
       
       “Nice.” Gabriel smiled. His eyes landed on Thorn’s colourful hair. “It’s…ginger.”

       Thorn’s eye twitched, and he gritted his teeth together. “It’s…not…ginger!”

       Kazuki chuckled slightly. “Gabriel, don’t call him ginger. It was meant to be red.”

       “Yeah but it didn’t work.” Thorn grumbled, before grinning again. “Anyway! Endo told me that you’re learning how to use a sword.”

       “Yeah, I am.” Gabriel nodded, sitting back down beside Kazuki. Thorn sat opposite Gabriel, placing the box at his feet. He nodded, folding his scarred arms across his chest. “I’ve just started, but I’m getting the hang of it.”

       Something seemed to light up in Thorn’s eyes as Gabriel said this. He grinned, and rested his elbows on the table. “We’ll see about that.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow as Thorn turned to the quiet Japanese man. “Yo, Endo. You said something about The Company on the phone. Speak up.”

       Kazuki closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. Gabriel’s heart tightened with worry. What had gotten his mentor so worked up? What was The Company?

       “I’ve been researching into The Company ever since you arrived here, Gabriel. As soon as you mentioned them, I started finding out everything I could about them. The Company is an organisation that was started 20 years ago, by June Frai, in Daylona, which is 250 miles south of Foxburn. The Company have the power to erase documents about anything. A missing person file can be erased. A CIA file, gone just like that. I don’t know how she’s doing it, but it happens.

       “There’s a white bulding in Daylona, which I think is their headquarters. There is a high voltage electric fence running around it, which makes me suspect it even more. The fact that The Company can erase files, have a secret HQ, and have assassins made me think that that’s all they were; an assassination team. I was wrong.”

       Thorn leaned forward in his seat, his brows coming together. “What do you mean that you were wrong? I would think that too. Isn’t that what they are?”

       Kazuki shook his head. “I’m afraid not. That’s only the surface. Frai uses assassins such as Sexta and Inferno to kill people who are too close to figuring out the truth about their research.”

       “Their…research?” Gabriel repeated, running a hand through his auburn hair. “What research do they do?” As soon as he said that, Gabriel saw the blood drain from Kazuki’s face.

       Thorn looked at the younger male. “Endo, tell us.”
       
       Kazuki gulped, and looked at Gabriel and Thorn. “The Company experiment on humans.”



       Xavier was finally outside. Kaitlyn had given up after twenty minutes of banging on his door and he had left soon after.

       He slipped into a side alley, hitching the bag higher up his shoulder. Inside it lay his gun and mask, along with three new magazines and a change of clothes. He had a mission to go to, but had yet to get the details. June Frai said that she would call him at around six, but she never did. It was now eight. All he knew was that he was to go to a certain area of Foxburn.

       The streetlight above him flickered twice, then died. He leaned against the lamppost, hiding in the shadows. The auras had vanished for now because of the bandage around his head. The weight on the gun pressing against his leg through the bag made him reach in and take it out, sticking it in the waist band of his black jeans. The grey shirt that hung unbuttoned over a white vest flew open slightly as a breeze caught it.

       A continuous vibration in his pocket made him snatch it out, flipping it open to accept the call he had been waiting for.

       “Finally.” He growled.

       ”Now, now, Sexta, calm down.”[/i] June Frai chuckled from the other side of the phone call. ”You are meeting with your new partner--”

       “What happened to Inferno?” Xavier asked, gripping the handle of his gun. If something had happened to Hayden, he would never forgive Frai.

       ”She’s resting here at HQ. She’s been in some trouble.” June’s voice grew serious, all humour gone in an instant. ”Her crystal was taken.”

       The warmth left Xavier’s body as he registered the words. If Hayden had her crystal removed from her, she lost her powers as an assassin. When someone who worked for The Company lost their powers and abilities, they were put down. Just like animals.

       “Your new partner will be there shortly.” Xavier could hear the smile in June Frai’s voice, before it faded again. “Your job is to get that crystal back, Sexta.” After that, she hung up.

       Anger soared through him. The thought of Hayden getting exterminated crawled under his sink and seemed to eat away at his very soul. Yet, he knew there was nothing he could do. Hayden’s fate had been decided.

       Light footsteps ahead of him made him pull the gun out and aim without looking, his reflexes adding to his anger.

       “Who’s there?” he snarled, his irises lightening to the startling, pure silver as the crystal fed him powers, just like adding petrol to a fire. There was one working streetlight at the end of the side alley, illuminating a pair of Converse. The person walked forward into the light, eyes fixed on Xavier’s.

       She was average height for a teenage girl. She wore a half unbuttoned shirt, with a t-shirt under it. Her skirt fell to mid-thigh, and resembled a black school one. Knee high socks covered half of her legs. Her hair was a bold, vivid orange with blonde streaks. Her gun-metal grey eyes rested on Xavier’s own.

       “I take it you’re Sexta?” She said, raising an eyebrow slightly. “You don’t look like much.”

       Xavier pulled the trigger back on the gun, aiming it right at the girl’s head without blinking once. “Who are you?”

       “Call me Tabby.” She began to walk over to him, but Xavier never lowered the gun. “I’m your new partner.” As she walked, Xavier saw something on her back. It was a long bag, that she had slung over one of her shoulders. She must have seen Xavier glancing at it because she smiled.

       “Before you ask, yes it’s my weapon.”

       “What is it?” He eyed it carefully. It wasn’t a sniper rifle; the bag wasn’t bulky or a hard case. “Is it a sword?” Tabby nodded as she reached Xavier. He looked down at her, the gun remaining in it’s position. He took a step backwards away from her to take it all in. So, this small girl was his new partner.

       “How old are you?” Xavier asked.

       “Fifteen.” She said simply. Xavier’s eyes widened slightly. That was too young, even for The Company. They only hired people over the age of eighteen. Xavier was an exception; him being Immortal meant he was almost twice that age in reality.

       “You’re just a kid. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.” He growled, finally lowering his gun. He saw something in Tabby’s eyes change; they seemed to darken.

       “I’ve killed people.” She said bluntly, her voice fringed with indifference. “I’ve been brought up with swords. I’ve been training ever since I could hold one. My uncle taught me everything I need to know. I can kill someone in the blink of an eye.”

       This made Xavier smirk. “Alright then. I’ll test you. We have a job. I’ll let you kill the guy. He’s the leader of a Russian gang. Serge Sokolov. He found out information about us. Do you have a mask?”

       “Yeah.” Tabby removed her bag from her shoulder and unzipped it. Inside lay a sword and a mask. She took the mask out and placed it over her face. It was a black in colour, with a green crack feature running down from above the left eye, over the nose and down to the chin.

       Xavier unwrapped the bandage, and the auras came back to view. He took a deep breath in and placed the mask over his face. He slid the extra magazines into his pocket, and put his gun back into his waistband.

       “Let’s go.”

       And with that, they disappeared into the shadows.

    A Clash Of Beasts.


    "We shall send Special Ops."



    What will Hunter do?

    Offline Panda-Brain

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #58 on: September 15, 2010, 11:29:49 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Quote from: Kensei-Teichou link=topic=1339.msg25197#msg25197 date=1284587434
    I can't believe I called Gabriel, Xavier ¬_¬ Cheers Hayley.
    And as for the bokken, think about it. You're behind someone, raise the bokken and strike down on the collarbone.

    And did I actually write "[words here]" ?

    But from behind, would it not just hit their shoulder from the back considering how far down their collarbone is?
    And no, you did not :L
    Swallow the knife.

    I just love the way you're running out of life.

    Deliver me from broken love.

    Offline Thunderbird

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #59 on: September 16, 2010, 01:36:02 AM »
  • Read Later
  • I've read an excerpt and the writing is good so at some point I'll get back and read the thing through, though I have a bit in the way of that atm.

    Chapter 25: Near-Light Speed (New Chapter (12/4/11))

    Online Chinaren

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #60 on: September 16, 2010, 12:01:19 PM »
  • Read Later
  • I've only managed to read the first part at the moment, but so far it's pretty nicely done.  I'll try and catch up with the rest later!
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    Tome City

    Re: Gaping Flaws
    « Reply #60 on: September 16, 2010, 12:01:19 PM »

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