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Author Topic: The Final Mystery  (Read 3838 times)

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Offline Saint

The Final Mystery
« on: June 12, 2010, 04:27:53 PM »
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  • The demolibri is a book with everything in it... Everything but Das Geheimnis.


    Tanner is a demon hunter, and he's one of the very best.  Countless monsters have fallen before him and his extensive arsenal of weaponry.  His secret is a book passed down to him from his father: a conclusive guide to everything- both holy and unholy -that exists.  The guide has served him for fourteen years, through thousands of battles, so imagine his surprise when a routine damsel-in-distress call reveals the only monster among millions that isn't in his book.

    The hunt is on for this new creature- the one he names 'Das Geheimnis'; The Mystery.  And there's more than just his reputation and the life of a girl at stake.




    « Last Edit: October 24, 2010, 07:59:57 PM by Saint »

     

    Offline Saint

    Prologue - The Bird
    « Reply #1 on: June 12, 2010, 04:34:07 PM »
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  • Prologue – The Bird.

    The Bird

    In a dark field, in the middle of nowhere, on a lost continent of Taaro, the moon could only barely be seen beneath a curtain of icy clouds.  Very subtle winds blew through, kissing the tips of the four-foot-high bluegrass.  As it swayed with a slow-dancer's pace, embracing the flowers within it in a seductive minuet, a single bird flew overhead, towards its home beyond the darkening purple horizon.

    With conviction and a majestic aura, its wings beat, manipulating the air around it in such a way that was beyond comprehension.  Dull, rhythmic beating followed the creature as it flew over the scene of beauty below, and even the savage hunter's mind inside appreciated the ongoing peace in this place.  Lowering its height slightly, the bird flew just close enough for the bluegrass to stroke its feathers with the delicacy of a mother nursing her infant.

    No warning- absolutely none at all- came before the tranquillity was torn to pieces with terrific roar, and the sky opened up to throw out two figures into the field.  The bird's mind shifted from observer to hunter, and it arced its flight path upwards to get a good surveillance of the scene, for this was the first life it had seen for days, and the chance of a meal was too great to pass up.  Once it hit a good enough height, it circled around and peered down at the two creatures beneath it.

    One was a man.  The other was something the bird hadn't seen before, and from the creature's appearance, it suspected powerfully that even its ancestors hadn't, either.  A lion's head was fixed to an indistinguishable torso, and four almost mannequin-like arms protruded from its sides.  Standing on two canine legs that the bird could only barely see in the tall grass, the creature pointed towards the human with both of its right arms, and roared; the same sound the bird had heard before the creatures appeared.

    The man was un-naturally tall for his kind, but the monster was still larger.  On the man's back was a long, thin weapon that the bird knew the humans called a sword.  He grasped for the handle as the lion-creature pounced with feral accuracy, landing directly where the man would have been, had he not jumped about two feet to his left, drawing the sword simultaneously.  Altering its circle slightly, the bird shifted to the section of sky above where the two were fighting.  There was no way it could get any meat from either being below, but it was worth hanging around while they duelled, as it could easily dive in for the remains of the loser.

    Obviously infuriated with missing his target, the lion-creature swung one of its fists with such a pace that the human had no chance of blocking.  The lion-creature landed the strike directly underneath the human's arm, who cried out an agonising shriek as he was catapulted across the field, just far enough for the lion-creature to close the distance in the time the human stood up- and the lion-creature ran remarkably fast for a being with two legs.

    As it reached the man, the lion-creature dived, mouth wide open to display fangs of iron strength, and landed perfectly on the human, who raised the weapon in the way.  Uncaring, the lion-creature punched with three of its four arms, directly into the man's chest with such a force that made even the bird's bones hurt.  Undoubtedly dead, the man would be the bird's next meal, once the lion-creature was done.

    As the bird swooped in to get a better look, however, it noticed a distinct lack of human underneath the lion-creature's body, at the exact same time that its hunter eyes picked out something in the grass behind it.  Before it could one-eighty to see what would dare strike on a creature so fearsome, another human dived out, sword in hand, and landed on the lion creature's back.  No, it was the same human- there was no way this could happen!  The bird had lived through aeons, but never had it seen anything move so fast.  Then again, never had it seen a creature so beastly as what the human was fighting, either.

    The human dug the sword into the lion-creature's back, but with a roar- which became no less fearsome with each new bark- it turned sharply, throwing the human off and lodging the sword in place simultaneously. Seemingly oblivious to the weapon in it's back, the lion-creature sprang once more, but this time the human was ready.  Diving out of the way just in time and rolling to a stand, the human used the few moments of confusion to run back to the creature and latch on to the sword, pulling down with the entire of his body weight and opening up a huge well of green-black blood.

    And just like that, the fight was over.  The lion didn't make another move, not even to fall to the floor.  The blood continued to flow out of its back, progressively changing colour from a dark, dingy green to the common blood colour of red, and then to a beautiful aquamarine before finally running clear as water.  It flowed down the lion-creature's back, still fixed in a pouncing position, and stuck along its sides to finally fall down off of its chest into the grass below.

    The human pulled out the sword and slid it into the weapon-holder on his back back before breaking off a finger from the lion-creature's upper right hand and pocketing it.  Then, with as much warning as he'd arrived in the field with, the human disappeared, leaving the bird a meal behind.  A quick circle overhead confirmed that nothing else was in the field, and the bird arced down to land on the motionless lion-creature's mane... and it didn't feel like fur or hair in the slightest.  The fur felt like stone.

    Jumping down to the arm, the bird dug its claws in to find that the arm was just as hard as the hair.  There was even a bowl-shaped section underneath it which the now-clear blood was running into.  At this, the bird realised what had happened.  The blood was water.  The creature had been turned into nothing more than a fountain.

    Tanner

    “Are you kidding me?  You only brought back a finger!  I wanted the whole thing, you moron!”

    Tanner Saosin rolled his eyes.

    “So do I get the reward or not?” he sighed irritably.

    “The job was to bring me the creature as a fountain for the courtyard.  But I suppose you did stop it terrifying my guests.  I'll pay half.”

    The other man reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wallet, opening it and handing over 200 breat.

    “The job was for 600, if you please,” Tanner pointed out.

    Looking guilty and irked at the same time, the man handed over the other hundred and Tanner walked out of the room, taking a small book from his pocket.  The worn front cover noted it as the Demolibri.  A short flip through its pages, and he arrived at one headed: “Statani.”


    Statani.

    Living beasts crafted from rock.  Long ago, mages created them as security against thieves and vandals, but stone is more lasting than flesh, and when the mages pass away, the Statani live on without a purpose, often attacking anyone near to them, believing them to be intruders.  When killed, these beasts revert to their stone form permanently.  Each Statani has a weak spot, in case the mage who created it had to stop it.  These are mostly in the back, as it is an uncommon place for a thief to strike.


    Under the entry were three red hand-drawn marks, and Tanner reached into the pocket the book had been in in and pulled out a pen, making a fourth mark next to them.
    « Last Edit: July 04, 2010, 02:29:43 PM by Saint »

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #2 on: June 12, 2010, 06:41:18 PM »
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  • It's just fantasy, and I have no intention of turning anything of mine into a script, thanks; I just can't do them.

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #3 on: June 13, 2010, 12:04:20 AM »
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  • Absolutely not.  Nothing against you, but I refuse to let anyone else touch my work.

    Offline Chinaren

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #4 on: June 13, 2010, 02:25:48 AM »
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  • An interesting start Saint!  There's a few spots that could probably be reworked to flow a little more smoothly in the first part, but I like it.  :nod:
    Click pic to visit:




    Offline Overlord

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #5 on: June 13, 2010, 07:42:56 AM »
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  • [admin]Cat, I think Saint made it quite clear he wasn't interested. Please don't bug people if they don't wish to do something. Thanks.
    Quote from: BlackCat link=topic=1885.msg23486#msg23486 date=1276406752
    Then I'll teach you, since every writer needs to know how to make a script. I'm sorry but I'm really interested in this and I'd say you can easily get it for a film. I know someone who is looking for a script. Since I'm writing him two at the moment. But thanks anyway.
    [/admin]
    Tome City sites:


    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #6 on: June 13, 2010, 02:46:26 PM »
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  • Blackcat, you were sorta bugging me.  I don't mean it nastily, but seriously, I don't want it scripted. Thankyou for the offer, anyway.

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #7 on: June 13, 2010, 03:21:42 PM »
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  • Thanks.  =)  That's why I post it here, for the feedback.

    Offline BlackCat

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #8 on: June 13, 2010, 03:39:22 PM »
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  • Quote
    The human pulled out the sword and slid it into the weapon-holder on his back back before breaking off a finger from the lion-creature's upper right hand and pocketing it.


    A tip from me to you, don't use "and" twice in a scentance, people like short scentances, the best comes from shakespear, and it wouldn't sound nice if it's stretched out. Shakepear made words simpel and easy to read. example: To be or not to be
    « Last Edit: June 13, 2010, 03:50:01 PM by BlackCat »


    Thanks for the favourite gift Amber! AF forever!  :bioggrin:

    Offline Phoenix

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #9 on: June 13, 2010, 06:27:15 PM »
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  • Good start.
    He won't even let ME touch his work BC, so that's saying something :P
    Post more up when you get the chance ^_^.
    « Last Edit: June 13, 2010, 06:42:03 PM by Phoenix »
    *

    '   Did I have a choice? Were my intentions that bad to come to this? Surely I'd made a mistake somewhere along the line, looming over him now that was all that spread in my mind. The fact that I couldn't escape the here and now even if a train ran into me at full speed.
       Yes, the violence is real, but I can't break away from it. It's suffocating, deadly and strange.
       And yet, here I am standing where mistakes were right in front of my eyes. Where there was no returning from, and no saviour to rely on.'


    [My latest short story will be posted shortly]

    To read my latest story, click below. [Children of Tomorrow]
    *


    Support my illustrations ") , visit
    http://www.k-wheeler.co.uk

    Offline Panda-Brain

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #10 on: June 13, 2010, 06:43:46 PM »
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  • Off-Topic:
    Actually, BC, that isn't actually a short line. That sentence is actually;
    "'To be, or not to be?' That is the question: Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer... (blahblahblah)"
    Hahaha, we done Hamlet in S2 for English. And I had to memorise that speech. =P
    Swallow the knife.

    I just love the way you're running out of life.

    Deliver me from broken love.

    Offline NicTei

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #11 on: June 13, 2010, 06:50:41 PM »
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  • Another new one, Saint?  I'm beginning to think I should start writing Deathless now instead of waiting until I'm done with something else...

    :pumpkin:

    EDIT:  Oh, and good start, by the way.  I'm a bit of an impromptu daemonologist, but I've never heard of a Statani.  Something you made up on the spot?
    « Last Edit: June 13, 2010, 06:54:20 PM by NicTei »

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #12 on: June 13, 2010, 07:25:28 PM »
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  • Quote from: NicTei link=topic=1885.msg23508#msg23508 date=1276451441
    Another new one, Saint?  I'm beginning to think I should start writing Deathless now instead of waiting until I'm done with something else...

    Another?  I've only started this, Candy and Sinner's Wood...  I see your point. >.>

    Quote from: NicTei link=topic=1885.msg23508#msg23508 date=1276451441
    EDIT:  Oh, and good start, by the way.  I'm a bit of an impromptu daemonologist, but I've never heard of a Statani.  Something you made up on the spot?

    Aye.  I want to use my own demons as much as possible, though I may include some fodder monsters.

    Offline NicTei

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #13 on: June 13, 2010, 07:46:22 PM »
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  • Quote from: Saint link=topic=1885.msg23509#msg23509 date=1276453528
    Quote from: NicTei link=topic=1885.msg23508#msg23508 date=1276451441
    Another new one, Saint?  I'm beginning to think I should start writing Deathless now instead of waiting until I'm done with something else...

    Another?  I've only started this, Candy and Sinner's Wood...  I see your point. >.>

    VINDICATION!!!

    Quote from: Saint link=topic=1885.msg23509#msg23509 date=1276453528
    Quote from: NicTei link=topic=1885.msg23508#msg23508 date=1276451441
    EDIT:  Oh, and good start, by the way.  I'm a bit of an impromptu daemonologist, but I've never heard of a Statani.  Something you made up on the spot?

    Aye.  I want to use my own demons as much as possible, though I may include some fodder monsters.

    Er...what?  Fodder monsters?  Me is confuseded...

    :pumpkin:

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #14 on: June 13, 2010, 08:19:02 PM »
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  • Common stuff like wolves, the undead, dragons, etc.

    Offline Rocket Rabbit

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #15 on: June 15, 2010, 09:33:13 AM »
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  • I quite liked it. Dark, portentious with an slight element of 'coolism'. Nice.
    :write:

    My newest tale:


    Other stories:


    NAME MY STORY! 600 GROAT PRIZE!
     

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #16 on: June 15, 2010, 12:13:35 PM »
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  • Thank Rabbit.  Another chapter's almost finished and it's not quite as dark as this.  It's mainly character introductions and Tanner taking on a job with someone.  There's a pretty 'dark' description of a mutilated dog that I'm quite proud of though. =D

    Offline NicTei

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #17 on: June 15, 2010, 02:41:14 PM »
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  • By the way, Saint, what are your requirements for your chapters?  I'm mildly curious, because I know that everyone seems to have their own prerequisites...

    :pumpkin:

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #18 on: June 15, 2010, 03:22:26 PM »
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  • I aim for 4,000 words.  Preferably 4,500, but if it's a slow chapter it can stop as short as 3,000.  This chapter, for example, is currently 3,553 words and I'm just heading into the last section of it, which should hopefully bring me up to around 4,100-200.

    Offline NicTei

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #19 on: June 15, 2010, 03:35:38 PM »
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  • Ah.  You go by words then?  I usually end up going by pages. :crazy:

    :pumpkin:

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #20 on: June 15, 2010, 03:50:02 PM »
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  • Aye, by words, 'cause if I do a chapter that has a lot of dialogue, at 4,500 the page count usually hits 13 or 14, but the action-filled ones can be as short as 8 or 9.

    Offline Saint

    Chapter 1 - The Big Entrance.
    « Reply #21 on: June 15, 2010, 04:31:46 PM »
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  • Chapter 1 – The Big Entrance.

    Tanner

    The alarm rang through the house with enough volume to wake the lifeless, but uncharacteristically, Tanner was already awake.  His sheet had been thrown off during the night, but pyjamas cased his body, the blue and white striped pattern a favourite of his, with the shirt opened to reveal an impressive set of muscles.  He pushed the off button on the alarm, ceasing the noise, and swivelled his feet over the edge of the bed.

    Breakfast was already on his mind, and he pulled himself to his feet and walked towards the kitchen with a pace that made him seem drugged, or drunk.  The fridge, as always, had an ample supply of the few foods he could actually cook well:  Bacon, eggs, milk, and bread.  'What the?  Why the hell did I put the bread in here?'  He shrugged it off and took out the packet of bacon and two eggs, then moved the bread to the cupboard before realising he'd need it anyway and taking it back out.

    “Right,” he said to no-one, “Grub.”

    Once he'd done his food (after burning his chest on kamikaze frying oil) he wolfed it down in none of the time it had taken him to make and ran back upstairs to get changed.  After a few more minutes, his pyjamas were strewn over his unmade bed and his favourite outfit lined his person- a white shirt with thin blue stripes, a dark blue jumper, the thick faded-orange coloured jacket his mother had gotten him for his last birthday (“If you're fighting monsters out there, son, I don't want to say 'I told you so' when you come back from Tenti with frostbite!”), dark yellow trousers, and his trusty boots, which had been passed down to him amongst other things in his father's will.

    There wasn't a single mirror in his house, so he combed through his dark-blonde hair blindly and grabbed his contacts from the desk beside his bed, putting them in before heading for the door.  As soon as he went to reach for the handle, however, the bell rang.  Tanner opened it to reveal Emma, who hadn't even had time to take her hand from the buzzer.

    “Wow. You're up?” she said in her consistently cheery tone.

    “I know, I surprised myself, too,” he admitted.

    Emma, who preferred 'Mimi' or 'Emmie' (she demanded Tanner call her Emmie) was a shy girl except for in two situations. 1) Around Tanner and Squall, when completely the opposite was true. 2) When fighting, and her concentration was unfading.  Her a-little-lighter-than-dark blonde hair was laced with highlights and dropped to just below the base of her ribcage, and the top she wore had thin straps holding it in place, showing off her star shaped birthmark at the point where the neck met her left shoulder.  The top itself was a dark blue colour, which played host to small sky blue diamonds scattered randomly around the material.  It just overlapped a black pleated skirt, which came slightly above her knees and showcased several intricately stitched roses, growing from the rim of the garment upwards.  Under the skirt were two knee length socks, striped white and light blue, and finally, the outfit was completed with dark blue dolly shoes with a wing pattern on the insteps.

    “I was just about to head to your house, actually,” Tanner stated, “I thought me you and Squall could take on a group job.”

    “No, Squall took a job yesterday and still hasn't made his way back from it; it's just you and me,” Emma said, with a tone of happiness that was a little suspicious for someone who was just a friend.  Tanner shrugged it off and went to walk out of his door, grabbing his sword from behind the doorframe where he'd leant it, and looping the sheath's strap over his shoulder.  Emma held her arm out for him to take.  He pulled his door shut and locked it, then linked his arm with hers and began the short walk into the marketplace.

    “Emmie, you seem happy today,” Tanner noted as they walked.

    “I do?  Nothing particularly good's happened today...”

    “Oh thanks,” Tanner said, feigning offence.

    “Besides you, stupid.”

    Just as he was about to say something, Tanner caught his foot on a raised paving stone and would have gone flying, had Emma not been holding onto his arm.  The streets were full of them; they were mostly concrete with slabs of circular paving embedded in at regular intervals.  The roads themselves were finely cobblestoned paths, and the buildings surrounding them were mainly old-looking brickwork, some houses still being just large rocks held together with mortar.  His street in particular had a very diverse selection of the housing styles of Taaro, as his own house was one of the more modern designs, with rectangular bricks, foundations, concrete, and all the new age construction stuff that he knew very little about (his line of work was about as far away from housing as possible, except for when the demons he was hunting took it upon themselves to destroy family homes).

    “Honestly, Tanner.  You'd think as a master demon hunter you'd have a little more balance than that.”

    “Oh haha.  I can fight circles around you and you know it.”

    “No, you wouldn't fight a girl, would you?”

    “Sure I would.  And I'd wi-”  But he was interrupted by a sharp pain in his cheek where she slapped him.  “Ouch!”

    “No too sure now, are you, big man,” she said with a laugh and a wink.  Then, all-of-a-sudden, she dislodged her arm from his and sped ahead.  “If you're so certain you'd beat me then catch me,” she shouted back.

    Sighing and rolling his eyes, but secretly fully game for the chase, Tanner set off along the abandoned streets (Hardly anyone was ever up this early, but Emma liked to get a headstart on whichever job she picked, and she always insisted on walking to the noticeboard with Tanner).  He could just about make her figure out in front of him, turning the corner at the end of his street, so he picked up his pace and shot for the turning.

    When he took it, he saw her running straight ahead of him, and focused on putting one foot in front of the other; there was no way she'd let him live it down if he lost this.  As he watched her run, however, he couldn't help admiring the finer points of her body- the points that, as a friend, he shouldn't really be admiring, like the way her hips moved in a perfect rhythm, the way her breasts bounced ever so slightly inside her top, and the way her skirt gave him the slightest flash of light blue lace every so often.

    She turned a sharp right just before he was about to catch her up, then looked behind her as he took the corner.  When she saw that he'd almost caught her up, he noticed a very faint grin on her face as she clenched her fists together behind her.  'Oh no.'  And 'Oh no' was right.  Within seconds, the entire of her body was covered in fire, starting with a spark in the hands, then very slowly spreading embers up her arms which burst into flames as it crawled onto her torso.  Tapping her hair, the flames turned it into a vibrant shade of red, and then the flames finally hit her legs, where she exploded into absolutely intense speed, hitting the last turning before the noticeboard in no time.

    Tanner hoped with all he could muster that she'd mastered stopping that technique.  The corner came up, however, and with the speed she was flying towards the noticeboard with, it was apparent that she hadn't.  Quickly, he threw his hands into his pockets and closed his eyes, concentrating on picturing Emma's body, which of course, him being a 25 (nearly 26) year old guy, and her being a 24 year old girl, he did without clothes.  'She's just a friend,' he scolded himself, but didn't bother adjusting his image.  Instead, he just jumped forward.

    There was a weird feeling flow through him for a fraction of a second, like water was being poured into his head and through his body, out of his feet, then he felt soft fabric in his arms, which surrounded Emma's size 12 body.  A quick thought reminded him that this was just how he liked girls; not like a stick, but not like a tree, either.

    “What are you doing?” came Emma's voice, but it wasn't an annoyed tone.  In fact, it was more satisfied, if anything.

    “Stopping you from crashing into the noticeboard,” but as he opened his eyes, he saw that this wasn't a danger.  They were at a complete stop.

    “Idiot.  I've mastered stopping now; I won't be needing your services as a brake any longer.”

    Tanner quickly and embarrassedly let go, only then realising that he wasn't being burnt alive like he had been every other time Emma had decided to pull that stunt.  He'd have probably realised this straight away, he pointed out to himself, had he not been caught up in perversions about Emma that would never be reality.  They were really close, so maybe one day if they were both excessively drunk, but he didn't want to ruin the friendship they had.  Besides, she always seemed more interested in Squall anyway.

    “Earth to Tanner.  Noticeboard.”

    “Oh, yeah, right.  Sorry, I was miles away.”

    'The noticeboard' was directly in front of them, or rather, part of it was.  The road they'd taken lead to a dead end, but it was a large circular section of the town surrounded by a 12 foot high wall where locals would set up a marketplace.  In a few hours time, this place would fill up with people selling their wares, or more importantly for Tanner and Emma, sticking adverts to the wall.

    There were all degrees of things advertised, from houses for sale (on green paper) to jobs on offer (on blue paper), but the ones that Tanner needed were the red paper ones: the hunter requests.  These made up the minority of the wall's posts, but they were still plentiful, with about five or six new ones going up each day.  There was one straight in front of Tanner, and he picked it off.

    Hunter needed!

    My daughter has been unable to sleep for the past week, and when she does, her 'rest' is riddled with screams.  She kicks out at whatever is around her, and shouts out: “The Pasminde will come.”  Please help us.  As a reward, I can offer 600 breats.

    Under that was an address, and it wasn't too far from where Tanner's house was.  He reached for the Demolibri, which was ever-present in his pocket, and thumbed through the pages until he found what he needed.


    Pasminde

    A form of restless spirit, created when a newly-wed bride falls victim to the hands of betrayal and takes her life as a result.  Bound on getting revenge on her adulterous husband, her soul does not leave, and instead becomes a Pasminde, moving along the nightmares of humans until she can finally reach him.

    Like any other restless spirit, this creature cannot be killed, as it is already dead.  It must either be exorcised or have its happiness restored so it can safely pass along.


    That sounded like a challenge, but Emma was already on her way over with two more scraps of paper in hand; she'd scanned most of the wall in the time it had taken him to analyse the one he'd picked up.

    “Here, one 'breats paid for Krawatte pelt', and one 'mystery monster kills family dog'.  There were two more requests, but one was for a party and one was... well, one we're not going on.”

    “Spider?” Tanner taunted.

    “Shut up and pick a job,” she said sourly.  Emma hated spiders, especially the huge ones that people put requests out for.

    “Sure, sure.  I've got a Pasminde for 600- a ghost,” he added when she gave him a confused look.  “How many breats on offer for your two?”

    “700 for the pelts, and 2200 for the mystery monster.”

    “Mystery monster it is,” Tanner decided.  2200 was more than enough for one job. Money like that could buy him a new sword for his armoury, or feed him for at least a week, and that was after he'd split it with Emma.  “Give me the address.”

    Emma

    Half an hour later, Emma switched off the radio in Tanner's car, which had been playing something with a heavy baseline and a singer who did more bellowing than singing.  She could listen to it without complaints, but it wasn't the sort of thing she'd pick if she had the choice.  Tanner loved it though; it got him worked up before a fight.

    Tanner opened his door and stepped out, walking around to open Emma's for her too.  She let herself smile as he shut it behind her once she'd got out, and headed towards the house they were parked outside, which was on a street that had its back to a small woodland.  The bell rang a three note tune when she pushed the button, and a few seconds later, a man in his fifties answered it.

    “Are you here about the demon?”

    Emma nodded and stepped in just as Tanner approached the house.  The man lead them both through a hallway that stretched the length of his house, with doors leading into rooms either side, and one at the end that gave way to the back garden. This was the one they walked through.

    Straight away, Emma saw why the job had so much money on offer.  The 'mystery monster' that had killed the family's dog had left footprints about the length of her forearm impressed in the otherwise perfect lawn.  Not to mention that the fence at the back had been pretty much obliterated.

    “What's left of Kipper is over there,” the man said with a shaky voice, pointing at a blood-soaked towel with a lump underneath it in the back corner of the garden.  “We were going to bury him bu-” he sniffed, “But we thought it'd help you out.”  Emma's compassionate side overtook her shy nature at the sight of the old man's pain, and she put a hand on his arm.

    “We'll get whatever did this, and your friend can be put to rest in peace,” she assured him.

    “Bring back its head.  If you don't mind, I'm going to go inside before you... check.  It's pretty bad.”

    Emma nodded.  “We understand.”

    Once he was back in the house, Tanner and Emma walked over to the remains, which gave off a powerfully pungent stink that only increased as they got closer.  Tanner lifted off the towel and Emma almost instantly shot her head away in disgust.  Pretty bad was an understatement, to say the least.  They could hardly even be called 'remains'.  Whatever was left of the dog was very gone, a blooded, broken heap in its place.  There wasn't an inch of fur left, and the flesh was literally covered with bite marks.  A huge hole was missing from where the animal's stomach was supposed to be, spilling out what few innards the beast didn't take.  The head was completely separated from the body, lying next to it with a bone sticking out from the bottom, as if he were some cartoon character.

    “I don't even need the demolibri.  This is a Krawatte attack, but it's a damn big one.  Bigger than any of the ones I've seen, anyway.  It's been enhanced by magic without a doubt.”  Tanner covered the body back up.

    “So how are we going to find it?”

    “Shouldn't be hard,” Tanner said as they walked towards the section of fence that had been torn down, “With feet that big, it'll be at least my height.  After you,” he added jokingly.

    “Why thank you sir,” she responded, heading into the woods.  Right away, it was apparent where the Krawatte had gone; the footprints were very easily noticeable.  Two sets, one into the garden and one out, marked the same path, and Tanner and Emma walked along them, the moist, soil-y earth springing beneath their feet.  There was a weird feeling between these trees- something strangely unnatural about nature.

    Tanner drew his sword, and Emma clenched her fists, readying magic.  Instead of fire this time, though, her hand turned completely black for a second, like a silhouette.  A few seconds later, her whole body was the same; no shading or light whatsoever, just a black cutout.  The outlined clothes pressed themselves into her, leaving the silhouette to be just her body for a split second before bulky, rectangular shapes moulded forwards.

    When her body faded back into colour, the skirt and top had gone, white-gold plated armour in its place, with just the neck visible of a black body-tight suit which she wore underneath to prevent it from rubbing her skin.  The armour itself was shined to perfection, through the dents and scratches were unmistakable and plentiful.  It fit to her body nicely, with curved sections in the appropriate places.

    Built into the armour was a curved sheath for her favourite sword, which she drew out as they walked along.  It had a scimitar-style blade and a white-gold hilt to match her armour, with three gems along one side of the crossguard.  One was a light blue topaz which had been on her mother's engagement ring, the next along was a pink quartz which was the only one of the three which had been on the sword when she bought it.  The third was a deep green emerald which Tanner and Squall had put together to get for her birthday four years before.

    As they followed the tracks, swords at the ready, Emma's mind wandered slightly in the way it couldn't normally during a job, but with Tanner's careful eyes, she knew she'd be in no danger.  And that was just what she thought about; Tanner.  They were perfect for each other, even Squall said it, but no matter how many hints she dropped, he never picked them up.  Sure, he'd had a bad track record with people, but that didn't make him completely socially inept.  He still bonded well with those he could trust.

    She'd keep telling herself to stop dropping hints, and that the next time she saw him she'd just ask straight out, but then 'next time' came around and she was filled up with the hope that maybe he'd actually ask her this time.  She dressed in skirts because she knew he liked them (she'd overheard 'guy' conversations he had with Squall when they thought she wasn't listening) and she let him see her shift armour if ever she got the chance so he could see the outline of her body that she knew was his 'perfect size' (again from the 'guy' conversations).

    When she was alone with him, she was at her most comfortable, and the fact that he had a huge arsenal of weapons under his house and he knew how to use every one of them to its best performance added to the sense of protection she had with him.  She was cheery and laughing around him, and he always knew what to say when she wasn't.  He'd been with her at her father's funeral, and even stood up for her against the same gang of bullies who he'd not even been able to protect himself from over the years- he was an amazing fighter, and he'd clean any of them out in a fair fight, but eight or nine against one wasn't even close to fair.

    He was just perfection, in her eyes.  She was 'just a friend', in his.  Sometimes she wished he'd wake up and realise she didn't want to be 'just a friend' anymore.  Her thoughts were interrupted, though, when Tanner came to a complete halt.

    “Something up?” she asked.

    He pointed forwards with his sword, then indicated to his ears with the free hand. 'Listen.'  Sure enough, there was a rustling up in front.  Emma's grip tightened around her sword, but Tanner just focused his vision ahead.  When a rabbit jumped out about 15 feet forwards of them, Emma relaxed and went to keep walking, but Tanner held his arm against her chest and pushed back lightly.

    The rabbit looked behind itself, then shot off forwards, and a second later, Emma felt it.  There was a slight vibration, nullified by the texture of the dirt beneath their feet, but still there.  When she paid more attention, she could see that the leaves on the trees were bouncing minutely in rhythm.

    Then she heard the footsteps finally, small thuds at first, but like that annoying kid in the movie theatre, they only got louder.  Unlike that kid at movie theatre, however, this could be the death of them both.  Hairs would be standing on the back of Emma's neck if she didn't do this sort of thing everyday.

    Intense anxiety was rife in the air around them, and then the footsteps and the noise stopped just as quickly as Tanner had done.  Ironic, because this caused Tanner to finally start running again.  With both hands on the sword at his side, he still managed to keep a strong pace, and Emma ran along behind him, not quite knowing where they were going but following Tanner with all the trust she needed.

    The Krawatte let out a dinosauresque roar that let Emma know at least what way they were headed, and Tanner ran unfeigned toward the source of the cry.  When they were finally close enough, Emma could see it through the cover of the trees, and only her conviction to follow Tanner stopped her grinding to a complete halt.  When Tanner said it had been enhanced by magic, she didn't realise exactly how big he'd meant. 

    Krawattes stood biped-ally on their powerful hind legs, tipped with long, thin feet, and human-like arms that ended in claws (no hands, no paws, just claws) stuck out of their torso from the front, rather than the side.  They were covered head to toe in shaggy black and brown fur, and, being some sort of weird wolf mutation, had a canine skull; long snout, piercing eyes, large pointed ears, and thick fangs.  The tallest she'd ever encountered came up to her breast, but this one in front of them was more than three times that.

    When they reached it, Tanner slipped behind a nearby tree and Emma did the same.  Amazingly, it hadn't noticed them at all, but when Emma look out at it, she saw why.  It was already being fought, and the person had obviously been fighting for a while, as fatigue laced his strikes.  Tanner swore and ran in to help the guy who was taking the suicide mission of fighting the Krawatte on his own, but as soon as he stepped out, it was too late.  The Krawatte swung and hit the guy under the arm with his claws, sending him sliding across the floor into perfect view of the pair.

    This new wound wasn't alone; Emma could see countless others lining his body.  He leaned over to one side and vomited a scary amount of red liquid into the soil.  The now very bloody person turned his head towards Emma and smiled despite the circumstances.  It was Squall.  Her heart lurched as the pale face dropped to the floor and the eyes of one of the two guys she actually trusted drew to a slow close.
    « Last Edit: July 04, 2010, 02:26:52 PM by Saint »

    Offline Phoenix

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #22 on: June 15, 2010, 05:41:45 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Ooh, getting good :) I'm liking Emma :P
    You better not kill Squall :(
    *

    '   Did I have a choice? Were my intentions that bad to come to this? Surely I'd made a mistake somewhere along the line, looming over him now that was all that spread in my mind. The fact that I couldn't escape the here and now even if a train ran into me at full speed.
       Yes, the violence is real, but I can't break away from it. It's suffocating, deadly and strange.
       And yet, here I am standing where mistakes were right in front of my eyes. Where there was no returning from, and no saviour to rely on.'


    [My latest short story will be posted shortly]

    To read my latest story, click below. [Children of Tomorrow]
    *


    Support my illustrations ") , visit
    http://www.k-wheeler.co.uk

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #23 on: June 15, 2010, 06:36:45 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Right, I've decided to pull a HeartEater and make this interactive until I get a  plan.

    There aren't many options, and each one has it's problem.

    Tanner fights, Emma helps Squall.  -  Not only is this the predictable option, but Squall has been fighting this beast for a while and made no noticable impact, so realistically, what is Tanner gonna do but end up the same (Unless he does what Ichigo Kurosaki does and beats anything no matter how hurt he is and how powerful it is)?

    Emma fights, Tanner helps Squall.  -  Same problem as above with the addition of the fact that Tanner and Squall have been in the job for ten more years than she has.

    Emma and Tanner both fight.  -  This is the only option with any realistic chance of working, but it leaves Squall to bleed out and die.

    Emma and Tanner leave the Krawatte and help Squall.  -  This is the most sensible, but considering that Squall's been on the job since yesterday, and it's a pretty damn big wood, it's gonna be a bitch to find again.  Not to mention the fact that it's pretty close to the housing, and leaving it now may lead it back to civilization.

    As said in the poll, any good suggestion will over-ride those options.

    Offline NicTei

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #24 on: June 15, 2010, 10:29:03 PM »
  • Read Later
  • Nice chapter!  There were some things that I saw, though.  For instance, you typed 'scalded' instead of 'scolded' when he was chasing Emmie, and used 'break' instead of 'brake' around the same time.

    And yellow pants? :s

    As for what they do, they don't actually have to use brute force to kill the demon, really.  They could set poison bait or something and come back later to see if it's dead.  Either that or Tanner can check his handy dandy notebook to see if there's a weakpoint on the beast that Emmie can target with her magic.

    :pumpkin:

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #25 on: June 16, 2010, 01:48:50 AM »
  • Read Later
  • Changes made.

    Yellow pants are cool.

    Good suggestion.  I'll work the baiting and trapping in somehow even if I don't strictly use it.  Also, the Krawatte will be a pretty common enemy throughout, though the normal sized ones, not the huge one.  He's a one off.  Emma's not the only mage, you know. 
    Show content
    Tanner used a teleportation spell to catch up with her; he's skilled with Space/Time centric magic.  (I'll note here that time travel backwards to correct failures is impossible in the world of Taaro.  I'll explain this in a little more detail later on in the tale).  Squall is also quite the talented mage [As you'll see in Chapter 2], and many other characters in the tale will have at least some weak form of magic.

    One more note, with this story, I'm trying to 1) make it as realistic as possible, and 2) Eliminating/Playing on clichés.

    If you spot anything that would happen in reality as a result of my characters actions which doesn't happen in this, please point it out.  Similarly, if anything I write is heading towards cliché, point this out also.

    Offline NicTei

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #26 on: June 16, 2010, 02:11:50 AM »
  • Read Later
  • Wait...
    [spoiler=RE:  Spoiler box]  If time travel backwards is impossible, does that make space/time regression for the purpose of mending a wound temporarily impossible, a la Miranda from D.Grayman?  Or is that considered alright in this world since the wound returns as soon as the magic is stopped?

    What about space/time progression techniques for the purpose of offense?  Can he age the Krawatte at an accelerated rate in order to break it down only to discover that the beastie gets stronger with age/isn't really affected by the age or any other magic?
    [/spoiler]

    And I'm still not sure I see the appeal of yellow pants. :no:

    I'll keep a look out for anything that seems unrealistic or cliche-making. :thumbs:

    :pumpkin:

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #27 on: June 16, 2010, 03:14:51 AM »
  • Read Later
  • [spoiler=RE:RE:Spoiler box]Time Travel backwards is possible, but Taaro's world works on a fixed timeline system of timetravel, where things cannot be altered, and anything you do has already been done.  For example, he could go back in time and witness the Krawatte attacking the dog, but not be able to do anything to save it.  He could, however, put the towel over the dog, as that has already been done (I never actually said the old man did it, now, did I? ;P)  Moving time forward is possible, as the future is undefined, but anything Tanner does in the future will be unchangeable when that time eventually comes.

    I hadn't thought much of accelerating time around certain areas and the likes, but I think I could word it in a way that doesn't actually shift time, but uses magic to simulate accelerated timeflow.

    And thanks for being analytical about my work; it really helps me see the mechanics of it myself. =)  This is exactly the sort of thing I mean when I talk about realism.[/spoiler]

    Offline NicTei

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #28 on: June 16, 2010, 03:27:04 AM »
  • Read Later
  • No problem. :thumbs:  Your logic makes pretty good sense, I'd say.  So when can we expect the next one? rofl

    :pumpkin:

    Offline Saint

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #29 on: June 16, 2010, 03:35:24 AM »
  • Read Later
  • May be a while, I admit.  Two weeks, tops; I really like this one.  I need to finish the last two shorts in Bubo Scandiacus, (About 3,000 and 1,000 words left) and the chapter of AAHL:CS I promised ages ago (About 1,000 words left).  It all depends on how fast I can write 9,000 words.  Although I may drop Serenade out of the collection and put this in its place if I still can't find the drive to write it.

    Tome City

    Re: The Final Mystery
    « Reply #29 on: June 16, 2010, 03:35:24 AM »

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